My line of thinking is the same as jack'smom, It appears to me the problem here is anxiety and fear of not getting what is "expected" of her, either in her own mind or how she perceives what her family expects of her. So how do you calm anxiety over expectations? Change the expectation. I don't mean dumb down the expectation but put it in terms that are reasonable and helpful.....go back to the phrase we've all come to know and appreciate, "Praise the effort, not the result." Emphasis that indeed her best effort is expected, whatever the result that best effort yields you'll be proud of and so should she.
