So. My kid is taking the PSAT. She is 13. She will be taking the test with accommodations (medical-- so needs medications, special seating, breaks as needed, etc). She is a virtual high school junior. So yes, radical acceleration X3.
Because the school accelerated her an additional year last January, we didn't have a chance for her to take a practice run at this one, which is admittedly not ideal. It's the first time she's taken a timed, high-stakes exam like this (because of the barrier of getting approval from College Board for accommodations-- long story).
This is the one shot at the NMSQT, which she
claims to have an interest in. In fact, her stated goal up until recently was to earn a NMS commendation, at a minimum. Her dad and I both did, and we feel this is an entirely reasonable goal on her behalf. We've said so. Maybe that was a mistake on our part, I don't know...
The thing is, she's also a major leaguer when it comes to performance-avoidant perfectionism, and also to self-handicapping. Which is what she defaults to ANY time that something isn't pretty much easy-to-the-point-of-effortless.
She's
handily capable of producing triple 9's.
I sort of anticipated that she'd need a few practice tests in order to reassure herself that she wasn't outgunned or anything, and that it was going to be completely 'do-able.'
First run at things, she got scaled scores that were roughly 94th-97th percentiles. "GREAT!" right? I was thrilled since I thought, this is terrific-- now that she's seen the format, she'll realize that she has nothing to worry about and all will be well. Maybe we'll do one more so that she can see what she can do with the the throttle wide open...YK?
BUT NO.
This sent her into a complete and total
tailspin. Why? Because she looked up the raw scoring and realized that she was "almost 15 points off of a NMS level" (yeah, in the TOP scoring state where we do not live, and keeping in mind that this was her first shot at this). In her mind, this practice run = "epic fail" and no amount of talking to her is budging things.
This is particularly true in the math section-- which she
believes to be an area of "weakness" anyway.
She began actively catastrophizing and seems to have...
given up making an effort. The follow-ups in the literacy sections have been more-or-less-static and more-or-less perfect, respectively... but the math section she seems to think she's just "not that good at math."
It is--
relative weakness, that is. She's got a 3.9+ GPA through Algebra II and is a very popular peer math tutor for her high school, fwiw, so objective data here suggests that high 90th percentiles OUGHT to be a given on the PSAT, and probably SAT. IF she were trying, I mean.
We are literally two weeks away at this point and I'm
just about apoplectic over her recent attitude shift. She has decided that "maybe I'm just not that smart," and seems to have begun that spiral of "I'm no good at this, so why would I
try and experience the pain of not 'succeeding' (e.g.-- 100% with no effort) when I can pretend it doesn't matter instead..."
SHE. IS. BLOWING. THIS. OFF.
It would be one thing if she were genuinely up against a limitation in performance... but it isn't. She's missing kind of random stuff, and it's the kind of thing where I can look at it and go.. HUH?? That's a sloppy computational error, or one of "whooops... guess I should have written that formula out rather than pulling it out of my backside on the fly..."
OMG. OMG. OMG. Someone-- please-- talk me down. Tell me what in heck to SAY to her. PLEASE. Because at this point, her behavior is going to make a difference not only in WHERE she eventually goes to college, but also in how much $$$$ we end up shelling out for it. Like it or not, we are
not wealthy, and a difference of 10-30K is a kind of big deal to us (which is about what it adds up to at one of her top-choice local private options, over the course of four years).
Yes, this is partly a major rant, but it's also a serious question-- what on earth should I do here?? Push? Just admit defeat?? Holy COW this is a long-ranging moment to decide to opt out of playing the game, kiddo... at this point, I'm not even sure that I
care about her "feelings" on the subject. I realize that sounds cold. But a lot of people (not just us) have had to basically bend over backwards to make this opportunity a reality for her.
My greatest fear is that if she decides that she has "failed" at the PSAT, it'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy next year on the SAT, as well-- where it matters at least as much and maybe a lot more. She is a kid that can ROCK a standardized test. Why on earth is she DOING THIS??? Auuuuuuuuuughhhh.
