Some of my carrots & sticks:
He learned to read online using reading eggs. I sat with him & took turns, making sure my turn was on the fast boards or the new levels until he learned how to do them. 3/4 of the way through he knew how to do them all so I had them reset his board and let him work alone. When he didn't want to work, especially on the timed levels- they're hard, I'd leave if alone for a few days and then at bedtime tell him, "it's bedtime, but if u want to stay up late studying you can do reading eggs.". Sometimes the timed levels take several days of late bedtimes to get through. LoL at bedtime he suddenly wants to learn everything.
The worksheets. I don't know where you're at, but we started with a marker. It's easier to write with & helped nip perfectionism since you can't erase. You can mark it out, but grab the sheet if the marking out gets carried away. The school skills are more important than whatever's on the page. Move on to ink pen. A whole year or two later move into pencil. You do housework. Look very busy doing one task slowly while he does his task. Wash your dishes and talk to him while he's doing his worksheet. Sit with him and help him through the first couple of answers. Time it so you wash a few dishes then walk over to look at the letter or two he wrote and either tell him the next letter or say, "ooh look, you did the c + the h". Washing dishes is a great start. Build up to cooking dinner. That's great because he wants to eat and you can help him while your chopping and boiling and at certain points you can say, "I can help you a little bit, but I have to watch the food or it will burn". Man. I like homeschooling. But now that he's started school I like the walk to and from school.
If you don't have HWT get a workbook- i'm cheap I only bought 2nd grade- they tell you how to direct the letter writing clearly using jargon you and your son can learn. Him- "how do I make a lower case g". Me- without leaving the sink "make a fat magic c, go up, slide back down and make a hook.".
