My advice is that don't assume that because you're reasonable they will also be reasonable. Don't expect logic. And no matter how many rules you make sure you follow ( ie, hint, then let them discover fo themselves, then talk of earning to learn, challenge, etc), they'll still try to get away with the bare minimum of effort.
I'm sorry you've had this experience, but I'm not sure it's fair to say that the teachers are trying to get away with the bare minimum effort. I know that a lot of people have had bad experiences with teachers, but I think that most teachers really do mean well, but have never encountered kids who are so way out there. We felt this frustration with our son's teachers, and we finally had a meeting where we understood that even though our perception was that the teachers weren't doing enough, they really were doing an awful lot extra for our kiddo. If you haven't worked with a kid who is way, way ahead, it's not unreasonable to think that it should be enough if you give a kid such and such amount more, which you've never done before and seems like a crazy amount. (Of course, there is some point that you hope the teacher sees that it's not enough, but I will defend those teachers who are trying but have never encountered this type of kid.) I felt horrible when I learned all the extra that one particular teacher had done for my child, and he told us he was offended at us for thinking that he hadn't done much of anything.
So my advice is to tread lightly, and try to open up the channels of communication. It takes some time for people to get on the same page of understanding what your kiddo really needs. Testing/pre-testing helps a lot though.
