Out of curiosity, did your kids entering K have peers who were also reading /advanced? Did they tend to pair up together as friends? My DS would love having a friend who loves science /geography /math as much as he does. He goes along with superhero-ninja-spies play because his friends love it.
The children of all of my friends are reading at least a couple of grades ahead, and at least a few kids in each class by first grade. Being a couple of years ahead in reading does not appear to be difficult to accommodate. Asking for acommodation of any advancement in math, and anything more than a couple of years in reading is apparently crazy talk.
Sigh.
My advice is that don't assume that because you're reasonable they will also be reasonable. Don't expect logic. And no matter how many rules you make sure you follow ( ie, hint, then let them discover fo themselves, then talk of earning to learn, challenge, etc), they'll still try to get away with the bare minimum of effort.
