I'm all for a healthy debate, but I feel like I'm being baited or psychoanalyzed.
I did believe that you were
angry furiously peeved, and perhaps that was presumptuous. Still, thoughts of defensive mother tigers don't evoke frustration so much. We don't need to nitpick about my choice of words further, do we?
I'm certainly not trying to bait or psychoanalyze you, and I think you've been a bit quick to take offense, but I'm chalking it up to frustration. You initially pointedly ignored my comments, and you clearly dislike that I'm in disagreement with you. I still think that it's best to view it from the teacher's perspective and the possible consequences of the behavior, like it or not. Most good parents would tend to instantly see things from their child's point of view, but it's not the only one.
I have some experience with negotiation and mediation, so that might contribute to more of an objective viewpoint. When faced with situations like yours, I'd tend to look at the entire context as a problem that needs to be solved, rather than myself as an advocate for my child over who's right (although I can certainly fit that role when necessary too). Many situations can be resolved with a minimum of fuss when everyone's concerns are validated and steps are taken to address them, within reason. From that perspective,
anger furious peevishness, resentment or frustration over the actions of others can be counterproductive.
I agree with what lmp writes about our children often needing to prove themselves, even though it's unfair. I don't think it's possible to completely eliminate the misunderstandings or bias that may prompt such comments. The best we can do is to educate people when possible, encourage our children to behave as expected in their accelerated environments, and minimize any harm when things don't go as planned.
