Hi Giftodd - When my oldest DD was about that age she to had a similar friend. They even shared the same birthday.. The child would come to our house and actually steal from DD. I would make her empty her pockets before she left. My DD was so happy to have a friend specially one born on the same day...a sister... Oh my. Anyways I decided the best way to play it was to go fully for it. I never let my kiddo go to her house without me and for only short times but the child came to mine whenever I could. I feel for children that are in this kind of predicament and I did not think DD was going to keep her distance. I taught the child boundaries, discipline while at my house, proper manners etc. I am rather strict and the threat of being taken home or separated, both kids knowing I meant it, really changed the child in our presence. I do believe at that young they are very moldable. I figure a child living with a parent like the one you are describing, lives with someone who has no concept of self-esteem and has to bring the child down as well. It is not a loving action to role model for children poor social relations. I guess it was the old if you can't beat em join em...but be the leader and the good example and they can learn quickly.
When DD was in 7th grade she made friends with an older girl who was a bit similar as the original girl..She came over for a sleep over and both girls were rude to me. I told the girl right there she had to stop talking to me and to hold her tongue. My DD had to write a report about rudeness especially to elders and parents. She, true to form, wrote a thesis including history etc. It was pretty interesting to read and did the trick for getting the girl out of our lives. Not because of the fear of punishment but DD learned about why rudeness does not work and the rightful place of eldership, respect, and just human kindness for another being. Just for future reference.
Good luck
