I only mentioned THAT book because several people here are using it and trying to implement it so the threads come up ever so often and it's kind of like if you're in a local book club and you're all on the same page. It's just a reference. My husband only knows the outline and he thinks it's only about focusing on the positive. I like the thread the other day that hinted that it was about brainwashing your kid into thinking they were well-behaved. What it actually is is about setting the bar low during the difficult times so that they accidentally comply and then pointing out their co-operation. Then during the good times mention the things they are doing that are not good or bad. Which is most things kids do, it's not good or bad- like i told my son- you splashed that water with that shoe. It backfires though because he thinks I'm interested in stuff I don't get. Like he says "watch this" and then chews his food.
I think it's so they hear their mother's voice when it's not being bossy or disciplining, so they know what you really sound like. The book says it's so they know you're interested them, not just in their good behavior, bad behavior, performance or production. I think it's so they can hear your real voice. A (childless) friend thinks that's why it's important to read to your children, not for their vocabulary, but so they can hear their mothers voice how it really sounds. Maybe kids do want to hear their mothers voice when it's not a conversation, when it's not important. I like hearing their voices when they're "chirping", that nonsense mix of sounds and words and songs they make at random when they're happy. I don't think seven year olds still do that, right? The vrooms and beeps and making objects talk to each other and telling fragments of stories to absolutely nobody, just to say them.
