I've been having discussions abut this with a few friends and DH lately. One friend thinks being open and honest is the best way and if someone doesn't like it then that is their problem. She has no problem being totally open and honest about how far ahead her kids are and shares info on giftedness openly and readily, even if parents of ND kids are around. (I'm not bothered by it and appreciate how open she is.)
Another friend thinks parents should keep it to themselves and can't stand when someone says things openly. She thinks it is tacky, annoying, arrogant / braggy, etc.
My DH thinks that if you are too open about that stuff (as opposed to vague and humble about what your children are up to) that you will turn off other parents and isolate your kids because other parents won't want their children hanging out with yours. He thinks that if gifted kids all hang around their peers they won't develop the social skills necessary to deal with all kinds of people. (Though he can't explain why I still sometimes don't get how other people think even though I went to a regular school my entire life...)
Both of my friends and DH probably qualify as gifted, too.
It comes up in so many different ways. Like just wanting to share a proud moment or a good article you read.... or when you want to participate in a conversation about good toys or books for a certain age group. Or when you want to participate in a discussion about how to deal with challenging age appropriate behaviors (which your child is exhibiting very early). Everyone knows how old your child is and if you chime in then you are basically "bragging" that your child is ahead.
(I have gotten some
very strange looks lately when someone asks me about baby signing and it comes up that we've done the ABC Signing Time DVD. I get the feeling that I'm coming off as a pushy and extremely delusional mom... but she memorized all the other DVDs and is now signing some of her ABCs. Should I just keep quiet? Probably.
I'm proud and excited when she does new things...I know no one else except best friends and relatives really care about what she is doing - other people are proud of
their children and what they are accomplishing, which is as it should be - but they all still act proud of their children without fear of that "hothouse mom" response.)
How do you handle it?
