I am SO SICK of hearing "you have to let kids just be kids". It instantly makes me defensive, although I always just smile and nod in agreement.

I want to scream out "what are you implying? I do NOT do flashcards. I do NOT do workbooks. I do NOT use any kind of training program. My kids ARE kids."

I was really disappointed to hear this phrase used three times at a parent-teacher conference at the Montessori where my 3-year-old has attended for about 5 months. I thought they kind of understood him better, and understood us as a family. Just because a kid reads early or loves numbers doesn't mean I'm not letting him be a kid. I can't stop him from learning stuff. Arg!

With my 23 month old, it's even worse. She recently seemed to spontaneously start reading, and she often does it in public. She reads signs, people's t-shirts, she reads the sides of trucks (yelled out "Two Men and a Truck!" - the name of a moving company - the other day, in public). People respond with shock, and then just give me "the eye". I want to tell them - no, I didn't teach her to read! Yes, we read bedtimes stories every night. Yes, she likes looking at books and of course I allow it. But don't most parents do that?

The way she talks (full sentences, big words), the fact that she can count well and reads, it is just literally impossible to hide the fact that she is very different.

I find I'm becoming more defensive and more self conscious about it as time goes on. I had a family blog that I started in pregnancy, but I've all but stop posting to it because I don't know what to say. I don't like to write anything that could be construed as bragging, or anything that might make people question just what-the-hell we are doing with our kids to make them "this way." I'm pretty sure I'm just going to shut it down. I don't know if it's more to protect my kids or protect myself.

Sometimes I just feel lonely with all of this. I can share things with my mom, but even that has to be kept to a minimum. I have a nephew that is a bit behind developmentally, who was the first baby in the family and holds a special place in their hearts. So even my mom doesn't really want to hear what the kids are doing.

I want to just feel joyful and amazed at what my kids are doing. I'd love to share it with someone. But I can't. I'm too afraid to talk to any friends about it. I certainly won't talk to any neighbors or most family. And even those who should know our kids and understand them (Montessori) seem to think we are "pushing" our kids or "not letting them be kids."

Thanks for letting me vent here. I know this all probably sounds whiny.

Does anyone have some good idea for me on how to just let comments like this roll of my back. So far, all of my responses are purely internal. I don't say anything (other than politely agreeing) when someone says this to me. But it's really starting to get to me. I need a better way to think about it.

How do you all deal with this without letting yourself feel defensive?