I appreicate all the perspectives here. I told DD that we are going to sit down and talk about what she wants from homework time and what I want, and how to make homework time more pleasant and less stressful. I think we'll come up with some good ideas.
I will add here that one major stressor I haven't mentioned is her little brother, who adores her and is chomping at the bit to go and play with her as soon as she gets home. He is 3, and he is loud and chatterboxy and hyper, as 3yos are. Talking to him and being distracted by his antics definitely prolongs the HW pain. But she doesn't want to go to her room to do the work (she's an extrovert and always wants to be where the people are). I truly do not know how people homeschool with toddlers and preschoolers around!
I wish there was less of the homework, really. She gets about 7 pages of math, one longish writing assignment (about a page), and a two-sided spelling worksheet every week, plus various independent projects. She also is required to read aloud to us at least 20 min a day, which I think is awesome in many ways (it's been great for her vocabulary) but is a time commitment for sure.
