I struggled with this too, since the beginning and just at regular school. DD8 has never had a problem starting or doing the work. Our battles have also been over things like the worksheet asking for the problem to be shown or solved in a particular way. My personal thought on that is that if a child passes all the tests or demonstrates the knowledge in anyway, that should be acceptable. Elementary grades matter so little in the long run, unless they are worth something to the child...
Also, I have been learning quite a bit about MY particular child. It can be frustrating, but she is ABSOLUTELY a kid who would rather make her own mistakes than listen to your suggestions about the best or easiest way to do something. Sooooo what I do (or used to do, we are transitioning to homeschooling-it's all "home work" now, hahaha) was Butter would do her work at the dining room table, usually while I made dinner in the kitchen. I can totally see her and am there if she needs help, but I'm not hovering...if she needs help, she will ask, or, occasionally, I will suggest a short break, snack, water, if she seems to be anxious or struggling. Sometimes we just take a few minutes to chat about what she is supposed to be doing. I think that is a positive, supportive role. "Helping" is where you start to do things like sit down and organize the steps in making a book report, etc. The level of that will be dependent on your child and where they are...for example, I "help" my 8yo with her book report by being a sounding board and asking her to tell me the main characters of the book which she will highlight in a book report.
I also review DD's work...I stopped telling her to check things for a while, but now I have her look again, so SHE can see where she made her mistake. 99,9% of the time she says "Ooooohhhhh, that was silly!" or something like that
Backing off doesn't mean not being available or supportive, it just means, if everryone is happy with the progress in the classroom, don't sweat that homework and let her enjoy some of it
