My parenting in this regard is influenced by my own experience as a kid, when my parents told me (repeatedly) that getting an A was meaningless, because the teacher assigned work that was too easy / graded too laxly. "Perfection isn't good enough" is not the message I want to send my kid.
No, of course not, and I certainly did not tell DD that (for instance) her report card today was meaningless--I told her I was proud of her that she had done a good job. And I would hesitate to get into any "Your teacher isn't rigorous enough" conversations, for sure--that's directly subverting the teacher's authority. But when we have the assignment in front of us and it isn't graded yet, I want DD to try to follow the directions, even if I think the directions are kind of stupid. (And at times I have told her--well, not exactly that, but "I know it seems silly to have to show your work when you already know the answer, but...")
Coll, I like your approach. I always forget how useful it can be to discuss something outside the heat of the moment. DD is very fiery when it the thick of something but is often very reasonable at other times.
