Hi bbq797!
I'm jumping into this without reading everything fully (danger disclaimer!), and I have a toddler underfoot, so I will have to be brief.
Have you brought your Family Consultant into this yet? If he is a DYS, then you have the ability to bring in some heavy guns (or an expert opinion) on the correlation between behavior and an inappropriate academic environment. I know our family consultant has been absolutely wonderful. He has been happy to write a letter to the school about the academic needs our my son. There are many things about these little Pglets that are unique: asynchronous development, over-excitabilities, how rapidly they need to devour new material, etc. Somehow, having an outsider instead of a parent advocate for your child is extremely valuable. Of course, it only helps if the school is willing to listen.
Your FC may also have a list of qualified psychologists in your area who are used to dealing with PG kids for testing, if needed. There is also a number of articles on this sites datebase that speak of the stress that being in an unchallenging environment has on a PG kid and how it affects their behavior.
I have a DS11 who is also a DYS, who sounds a lot like your kiddo. We have the karate chops in the air, as well, and there are times when he looks decidedly quirky. The school pushed for an ADHD diagnosis, and we took him to a Gifted/ADHD psychologist who agrees that he probably is ADHD. But the funny thing is that most of the symptoms are greatly magnified by an inappropriate school environment. He tends to do the karate chops in the air when he is very stressed or anxious, and when he is trying to "process" the day's activities at school. The more "friction" in his life, whether it is boredom in school or a social mismatch with kids that don't get him, the more "quirky" he looks. But put him on the Science Olympiad team with old kids who share his passion and joy for science, and he fits right in.
DS11 had one grade skip between 2nd and 3rd, and then a subject acceleration in Science of 3 years. Even after all of this help from the school, we still felt that this school was not a good fit for our son. Their expectations were that every child should be the same and that they should all fit through the same round peg hole. They expected that the accelerations would help him fit through the next grade's round peg better. However, we just needed to realized that he was not round like everyone else, and to celebrate his uniquely squareness.
Once we did that, by changing to a school that is more accepting of differences, going through a second grade acceleration, and add a healthy dose of maturity, which seems to be kicking in in burst and starts at age 11, we seem to be finally finding a good place to be in. (cross every finger and toe and pray).
