Wow, 2giftgirls, I think the school is being ridiculous! Clearly, the environment is not working for your dd, I don't understand what they think to achieve by keeping her there except break her spirit. If you are truly willing to take her out of the school if necessary, I would go to them and tell THEM exactly what your daughter needs and why the current class is not appropriate. And if they are not willing to provide it, then tell them she will not be returning. Even if she IS actively refusing to cooperate, she is doing so for a reason. And they should be working on figuring out what that reason is, rather than placing blame on her or you. Last year when my DS was in first, we had a terrible time where he was having meltdowns weekly and being taken out of the classroom for behavior issues, detention, etc. We had the meeting where I said, what is happening in the classroom when this happens? No real response. They just focused on him and what was "wrong" with him. He's disruptive, defiant, can't concentrate, maybe you should have your pediatrician evaluate his behavior. Finally, as a last resort, they switched him to his math teacher's homeroom and bam, all the behaviors disappeared immediately. Clearly, something in that first classroom was creating problems for him and once he was put in a better environment, the change was dramatic.
I have since theorized that the problems were a combination of some sensory irritant (he complained of the noise and I know the classroom was quite chaotic at times) and an unsympathetic and possibly overwhelmed teacher who only seemed to be aware of his problems and knew very little else about him. For example, at the parent-teacher conference she told me he was struggling in math. When I pointed out that his report card showed "above expectations" in all categories, she pulled out a worksheet as an example of how he was frustrated. It was a fill in the missing number sheet from 1-30 (!) and he had doodled and scribbled all over the edges. After, mind you, he completed the totally lame assignment. Clearly he had doodled to entertain himself after the 2 seconds it took him to answer the questions, not because he was frustrated!
Anyways, sorry to vent so much this just brought back bad memories, lol. But my point is that, like your dd's school, they tried to make it all about what was "wrong" with him but when they changed his environment they could not help but recognize the immediate difference that it made. Perhaps, before delivering any kind of ultimatum (if you plan on doing so at all) you could ask them to let her go to the other class for one week or even one day. If the difference is as obvious as it was with my ds, it will be hard for them to deny a permanent change. They are, after all, supposed to be interested in providing her with an appropriate learning environment.
