One other thought: I had a cat who was the sweetest cat you could ever have. "P" was a runt, and she used to "nurse" on my earlobe as she snuggled up to me. It was just the most tender thing. But she was brain-damaged due to lack of oxygen at birth in addition to various problems related to being the runt, so she wasn't the brightest bulb in the box. Her brother cat and I had to clean her, because she forgot to do it. Not your typical cat. But I just adored her!
I took her to the vet for a problem related to her not-smartness, so I told the vet that she was the sweetest cat ever, but that she was not smart. The vet looked at me like I was evil! How could I say that about my beloved pet! As if I were insulting P.
No, I was just describing P. Accurately, I might add. It didn't mean I loved her any less. It just meant I understood her. (BTW, the indignant vet did a feline intelligence test on P: she folded her ear back and observed how long it took her to flip it back upright. The smartest cats won't let you flip it back at all, and the longer it takes, the less smart the cat. The vet waited 30+ minutes, and P never corrected the ear. The vet finally felt bad for P and corrected it herself. She sheepishly admitted this to me and said I was right. I loved the vet for that!)
Anyway, that's kind of how I feel about this situation, though naturally DS3 is probably at least vanilla GT, and is certainly not brain-damaged. But I feel like in seeing him as he is, it may seem like there's some negative judgement attached that I don't intend.
Long story, but maybe it helps to illustrate my sense of the situation.
Oh, and I intend to have DS3 assessed when he gets past the 4yo hump. We'll see how fast he flips his ear up then, I guess!
