My daughter has been very selective is who she feel comfortable with ever since she turned 18 months. It showed up suddenly and she only wanted to be around me and no longer wanted to be around her mom.
There is something known as Selective Mutism where children will only speak in front of certain people. Now I believe in my daughter's case, it affected more than just speech. She would often freeze up and in some cases try and drag me away from these people. If I would not go, she would sometimes start kicking me. What I feel happens is certain people cause her to feel a great deal of anxiety. I am fairly certain this anxiety causes her to be unable to understand what I am saying and perform certain actions she can do normally.
About a year later, I visited a town where some of my closest friends live. In every case, she was almost instantly comfortable with these people. This was the first time in since she was 18 months where she was ok around other people. When I went home, she instantly went back to not wanting to be around anyone but me. At this time though, I was not typically able to be around my favorite people in the area I lived in. Once I did finally get a chance, she turned out to be comfortable with them as well.
I cannot put my finger on what it is that attracts me to the people I like the best. I don't make my choices based on having common interests. My daughter seems to have the same taste in people, I just don't know what it is based on.
She has improved greatly in the last 5 years. However, she is still the shy child in the class. Usually it takes her about 15 minutes to warm up and then has almost no problem interacting with her class. She still appears to be selective, but is more comfortable with a wider range of people. Signs are good she is heading in a positive direction fairly quickly. Only time will tell if this will continue.
