Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Need help with teacher....advise please

Or at least just support.....

I'm new to this. My son had his assessment done 4 months ago in May and had a FSIQ of 136. He has poor handwriting and the teacher last year thought he was ADHD (he can be a big wiggly in his chair)he's not ADHD, they tested for that as well. He's quiet and doesn't come across as gifted in a group of kids.

Well It's a new school year (grade 3) and I was hopeful for a *good* teacher this time. One that "got" him. I wanted to get things going in the right direction from the begining this year. Well, I met her tonight and she kind of hesitantly looked at me and gave me a sideways looky when she brought up the assessment from last year, almost like she didn't know what she was suppose to do with that. I was so careful with my words because I want to foster a good relationship with the teacher (for my son's benefit). I told her that it's important to me that Matthew is happy in school and he learns how to "work hard" at something. I told her everything has come easily to him. Anyway she basically told me that IPP's are *really* more for kids who are lagging behind in the system and it keeps the teacher responsible to be sure they "keep up" and that we don't really have to do one. Me being the people pleaser that I am said...Oh, okay, sure......UGH. I did manage to say "why don't we see where we are in 4 weeks and decide then?" but I left feeling like my son's potential doesn't matter as much as other children in her class....words of wisdom anyone? How do I proceed? How do I start to develop an IPP to begin with? She kind of said that we would have to come up with some kind of "goal" or extra project for him, and alluded to it being me that has to set those goals.....I feel a bit lost. I hoped she would take the bull by the horns but I guess that was naive of me ???

Now I'm home with a nagging feeling in my gut. I just really don't want to create a bad realationship from the get go by being disgreeable you know? What the heck to do from here?

I totally understand. Last year was so rough on us with getting my DS7 his IEP and actually getting them to do what they should. I remember saying the same thing to his teachers. What does it matter that he gets all "A's" if he sits in class all day and does nothing. What is that teaching him?

Advise... If you are in a green or blue state (see how gifted-friendly is your state to the left side) go to the state website and read everything you can on special education and gifted rights. Then go to your districts site and do the same. I litteraly spent weeks on it. Then I wrote up my own IEP quoting all their policies and asked for everything! Yep, everything. I let them know I would be taping the meeting ahead of time to put a little fear into them. I used words like FAPE (free and appropriate education) alot. They have to be spoken to in their own language or they will blow you off.

I made it clear that I absolutely loved the teacher and the principal at the school. That my problem was with the district and getting it done correctly according to their own policies. What I found then and continue to find is that my state has okay policies in place. Just no one pushes to get them enforced. The parents all play nice and say "Okay, we'll if that's what you say". When in reality they have no idea what their own policies are and often times outright lie about the ones they have. I'm not taking that. Not me, not with my child, no way! In the end we got some of what we wanted and that was okay for a begining. After the meeting was over I sent cards to all involved and let them know how great they all were. I continued to monitor his progress and kept both his gifted and regular teacher very aware that I was watching!

This year thank goodness he got great teachers! I think his new principal was warned ahead of time And I'm back at the district level fighting for some of the stuff he didn't get last year.

If you are in one of those other state, I don't know anything

Thanks! That does give me a jumping off point. I'm in Canada so things are different here, and I have no idea what my "rights" are. I will at least build up my own strength to be able to say "this is what Matthew needs" and not just go in unprepared. I found out on the first day of school that 2 of the teachers in the school have their own children in the same class and I figured "she must be good!" and just let my guard down. She probably is a good teacher, but obviously will require me to ask for what we need.

Joyce,

It actually sounds like you're being given a blank check. I know it would be easier if the teacher had ideas and knew what to do. But by looking to you for ideas and goals, the teacher is showing that she is open to doing many different things for your child. Keep in mind that the teacher is probably just as nervous as you are. She knows that her normal classroom teaching isn't going to reach your child. She wants to do something to help. She just needs your knowledge of your child to give her some direction. Even "good" teachers need help sometimes, they just know when to ask for it.

So, what does your DS need? Subject acceleration? More challenge in developing big picture ideas? Do you know what the class is studying this year? Sometimes school districts are helpful and have a curriculum website. Could there be a project that will tie lots of the regular curriculum items together?

Good Luck!

Maryann

Hi Joyce,

I did a quick search on gifted education in Canada and found this site:

http://www3.bc.sympatico.ca/giftedcanada/

I'm sure there are more but this one might benefit you.

I'm sure Canada has laws and guidelines in place for the gifted student somewhere. You are on the right track with asking questions. Do some research and I bet you'll find what you are looking for. Call me cautious but I want everything I possibly can in writing and mandated.

I'm a former teacher with over 10 years experience in 3 different states. Coming from the inside, I saw way to many bad teachers to be comfortable with leaving it up to them alone. Some were to old and didn't want to be there, some were just there for the paycheck, some just didn't know any of the modern methods of teaching, and some were generally interested in helping but way to unable to do any good. Of my 10 years there were only a handful of teachers each year that I'd want my own personal child to be with.

Before I get bashed... I know there are absolutely wonderful teachers out there. It's just that our systems set them up for failure so even the good ones struggle. That's why I had to eventually get out. I couldn't stand that I was being told that I couldn't teach what the students needed. It killed me to see a student that I knew I could help if only I was allowed to do so.

So back to getting what you can from the laws of your area first. It protects you and it gives the teacher a way to do what is needed. As a teacher, without that little piece of paper, they either can't or won't give the student the accomodations.