Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion My daughter cannot stop taking pens apart!

Okay, I don't think this is gifted/ADD/OCD or anything, but maybe someone will know what to do...
In class, in church, at the table, anywhere she has a pen, she will take it apart, put it together, take it apart, put it together... Oh, and then the spring pops out, and no one can find it, and therefore that pen is ruined! Since our pens are expensive, I've told her not to do it in the house, and when I catch her, she says something along the lines of "Oh, sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing that!" Does anyone know any way to get her out of doing this? I think it's just a matter of not doing it for 28 days or something, but if she doesn't realize she's doing it, then I don't know how she's ever going to stop... (She's 14, for those of you who didn't know)

Don't know if I can help you, but I just wanted to let you know that DS12 used to do that when he was 10. He mostly did it during class time, which his teacher felt the need to inform me of often, as if it were some huge offence. My DS has always been a very tactile kid and very curious about the inner workings of anything mechanical. Also, I think he finds some relaxation in mindlessly taking things apart. Personally, I think it's a fine trait that helps him to learn about the mechanics of the world, so our problem was not so much that he was doing it but that he was doing in an inappropriate place.

So, I don't think think that your DD taking apart the pens is, in and of itself, a bad thing. She's learning all about the pen and the mechanics of such things. And, she may in fact be doing it mindlessly. The bad thing, I think you're saying, is that she's ruining your pens! Perhaps take advantage of the school supply sales and buy her a package or two of some cheap pens that she is allowed to take apart to her hearts content (outside, if you're worried about the mess or if you just want to make it more inconvenient for her to do). Giving her permission to do it may just make her lose her desire to do it. And if she doesn't break the habit anytime soon, at least you're not out nice pens.

Good luck!

HA! My coworker and I (both gifted I might add) actually have pen dismantling races... we do it during conference calls. We do it when we are thinking. Some people doodle. We dismantle pens. If you take this activity away from her I am sure she will replace it with another. I was actually in a silly putty phase for awhile. My little tin of putty was my "toy" while I was working.

My advice: Buy cheaper pens!

Yeah, I don't mind if she does it at school, because we bought her cheap pens special for that purpose. Maybe I will give in and just let her do it, and yes, I agree, it's not a *bad* thing, but.... I can just imagine her next summer trying to get a job, and dismantling her pen all through the interview.... I don't know how good of an impression *that* would leave on her potential employer.

I'm 50+, and I take them apart all the time, too. At least it's quieter than clicking one constantly. Tape is a satisfactory replacement when I'm at my desk. String & rubber bands are OK, too -- just don't combine them with paper clips!

To save your expensive pens, get some cheap Bics that don't come apart(easily!).

Pen dicestion was one of DS's favorite stress relievers for a year or two. Much less disruptive than whistling. I think you just want to know that other kids did this and outgrew it too.

Perhaps the job interviewer will be very pleased that she handles stress so quietly?

You never know!

DS whistled non-stop while at home his entire 9th year. Inhale as well as exhale. He still almost always has a tune of some kind in his head. During a school interview when he had just turned 10, he was walking down the hall with the head of the private school to do some testing and she asked:

Do you always do that?
Which he took to mean - I sure don't want you at this school if you are going to make noise all day long.
He quickly lied: 'Oh no.'
And then stopped!

Around this time I told this story to one of my co-workers, who gently pointed out that I hum or sing whenever I'm not talking.

((red face))

Grinity

Yeah, I've always done that, too--and as mentioned above, it's quieter than the alternative of clicking it endlessly, which I also do.

I would class it as a nervous habit, a focusing thing--and definitely mindless. Good luck with that!

My brother took his ten speed bike completely apart when he was a kid. It had to go to the back shop. He grew up to be an engineer.

Some how this helped me to be understanding when my son went thru his take the pens apart stage. Usually, I would look for a pen in the draw and find lots of parts.

We have had so many stages. My son hopped on one foot for a year frequently. It drove me crazy. I should make a list one day of all his unusual habits. When he was a toddler he collected dust bunnies and little threads.

my suggestion is to put all the good pens away until this passes. One day when he is making strange sounds all day long you'll wish he was still taking apart pens. Your lucky he is putting most of them back together. LOL

Hmm. I always thought that taking pens apart was part of everyday life. I had no idea that not everyone does this, and until I saw this thread, had never even considered that perhaps not everyone does this. (!)

Does anyone else interchange all the parts between different pens? I can build a better pen this way.

I took everything I owned apart when I was a kid and prided myself on being able to fix all my toys when they broke. I gave my six-year-old her first lesson on fixing a loose bike chain yesterday.

Makes me wonder what mechanically inclined Neanderthals and Cro-magnons took apart. Maybe they explored animal bones.

Val

Well, I've never done it :P. I think it is a common thing, though, so I'm not thinking that this is some "bizarre" action on her part. It's a thing where she will say "I"m not going to do that to my pen" and then realize she's doing it 5 minutes. I was just curious if there was any way to reverse that. But, from the responses on this thread, I guess it's not really anything that we need to try to fix.
On the subject of "stress relievers" (though in her case it's more of a "I need to stop thinking about such and such" thing since she does seem to have some type of OCD), she will count down from 10 in varying rhythms. (10-9-8-rest-7-6-rest-5-4-3-2-1, "rest" being just where she isn't saying a number. I don't really know how to notate it, but that's kind of how I'd write it) She does it "audibly", but not actually so anyone that wasn't listening would hear it. I have heard it before though, and it usually goes on for a few minutes, and once she stops, the thought/fear sometimes comes back. It does help, though. She is *very* musical, though, so that might not work for other kids, she says that the rhythm helps. I thought that was a kind of interesting thing she has developed, probably better than audibly whistling like someone mentioned