Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Where are the adults?

Perhaps you might find that you can connect with people who have different political views if you're not talking about politics. Perhaps not. But from what little I know of that forum and what little I know of you, I think you might get something out of it.

If you judge people as being below your notice because of every little disagreement you have with them, you're going to drastically limit your options.

Interestingly, when I went over myself to check out the MyGiftedLife forum, I saw a number of "Why do I have trouble making / keeping friends" threads, in which precisely that observation was made.

Already I feel as if I'm being attacked - interesting.

Maybe I was too quick to judge based solely on the thread in which all the most active members were promoting Marxism as the answer to all life's problems and that this should be obvious to anyone with half a brain.

I'm not sure that is so much of a small disagreement so much as an obvious sign of a deeply disturbed group of people.

I'm looking to meet intelligent people, not pseudo-intellectual moon-bats who have never picked up a history book but instead think that simply making shocking statements and outrageous claims amounts to intelligence. Sorry if I come off as harsh but when people start promoting Marxism as the obvious end all beat all it's time for me to look for the door.

I should mention that I didn't post there and I think that is a step in the right direction. Marxism - Jesus what is next; 911 conspiracy theories?

If that's your line in the sand, that's fine. It seems like a small deal to me, but we all have our own standards. I'm just saying that if you meet someone and immediately judge them as being not worth wasting even a minute on, that strikes me as a problem. I recently made a new friend who has as a fundamental belief something that I find to be absolutely abhorrent. I put it aside for the sake of civility (because she is a close neighbor), and found that we have lots of other things in common and enjoy each others' company a good deal. If we were to talk about her belief...well, I probably could not remain civil and I'm sure it would mean the end of our friendship. And I could feel superior and enlightened and intelligent about it and put all of the blame on her, but in the end both of us would be missing out.

I'm not trying to attack you, but since it seems like you are seeking help making friends and understanding why that is an issue for you, I think it is only right to point out attitudes that you seem to have that could be contributing.

I think you're right, that IS interesting!

I'll share with you something that's kind of personal because it helped me... my therapist pointed out that just because I feel like I'm being attacked, that doesn't mean I actually am being attacked. But it is important to notice the feeling because when it comes up that tends to trigger certain defensive behaviors in me.

The technique she taught me was to try to look at things from the other direction. Do you think that other posters here might have felt attacked when you made negative remarks about a forum they recommended? Do you think they might have felt that way even if you didn't *intend* it as an attack? Maybe you can see how these misunderstandings can happen, and how they divide people.

Cathy, thank you for pointing that out. I can understand how people could be offended by my criticism of a site they recommended. I must admit that I was so shocked by the conversation in that forum that I did not consider how others felt about it.

Still, I can't help thinking that would be seriously over sensitive. It isn't as if I was criticizing someones art - it's just a forum. And if someone is going to promote Marxist ideas, they ought to have pretty thick skin.

But, I see what you are saying. I guess I should be careful not to put down things that others may feel differently about. Come to think of it I do that on occasion. Any time someone mentions psychics, horoscopes or astronomy I tell them how glad I am they enjoy that stuff. Then I shoot myself in the head.

Just for the sake of clarity, I was not at all offended. Like you, I am not at all interested in discussing or promoting Marxism. In fact, far from being offended, I thought that your response was pretty humorous. It immediately struck me that one of your main criticisms was that they were blaming the fact that others didn't understand them on their intelligence, and that seems to be exactly what you are doing. I genuinely believed that you might fit in there, if you could put your political ideology aside.

no5no5 I'm fairly certain at this point you are just finding subtle ways of insulting me.

No, I would not fit in there. Thomas Sowell just wrote a new book about Intellectuals in which he discusses how many intellectuals who can not produce anything of value instead make all kinds of outlandish, shocking claims in order to gain notoriety. He points out that the ivory tower insulates them from any personal responsibility with regard to the outcome of their ideas and that their ideas largely go unchallenged because they in an environment in which everyone thinks as they do.

It seems to me that the more outrageous the claim, the more likely a bunch of self proclaimed geniuses and pseudo-intellectual frauds will mistake it for intelligence.

I believe the old saying is, "if you can't impress them with brilliance, baffle them with bull****."

Nope, sorry but that isn't me. I'm smart enough to humble myself with regard to the true genius of the great thinkers of the past.

Personally, I don't like to surround myself with people who make such crude judgements by just looking. Judging a book by its cover? I don't know you, obviously this is my own judgement, as we are all guilty of it from time to time, but I would have a hard time finding a reason to get to know you if you are going to put down anyone that doesn't believe as you do. And maybe that is part of the problem. If you make a judgement up front, you're not allowing yourself to get to know someone who you may actually get along with quite well. It's one thing to disagree and to decide not to join a forum because you don't believe as the group seems to, but the name calling is not more than shallow.

For the record, I'm not a Marxist, nor am I a member of any of those boards. I am, however, a gifted adult.

No, not at all. I prefer to insult people openly.

If I understand the above, your position is that if people make outrageous claims, with which you disagree, they must not actually be intelligent? I guess if you believe that, it makes sense that you would not believe that you could find your intellectual equals on that board. My experience has taught me that making outrageous claims is a normal part of every thinking person's development. As I recall, Socrates made a bit of a career out of it.