Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Just plain confused and mad vent

My DS6 has been homeschooled this year for kindergarten because we just could not find a school in the area that seemed to be able to meet all of our little guys needs. A few weeks ago DS6 asked about possibly trying school again. I tried really hard not to suck my breath in when he asked. We live in an area where we don't have a lot of options, the one day a week/3 hour gifted program the county offered this past year is up in the air due to massive budget cuts in Florida.
We finally got private testing done this past month and little guy was found to be Highly Gifted and several grade levels ahead - the psych recommendation was a full time gifted school or program along with acceleration to his proper level.
Since he brought up the interest in school again we have tried looking at every possible situation available to us...we just don't have that many options...one place is a private "academy" starting up this year with individualized curriculum - he would be allowed to move at his pace in both reading and math and there would be only 10-12 kids in the entire school and the kids are done with the school day at 1:00 but it is almost $8,000.00 a year - OUCH - we would be in serious trouble if we had to try to come up with that money...not impossible but would cause quite a budget crisis. The other option is the public school he has been going to for Speech and OT "drive in" services for the past two years, so he is familiar with the speech/OT teachers there. I spoke with the new psychologist there today voicing my concerns about how they could meet his needs. She informed me that even though I have all of this private testing showing that he more than meets their requirments for the gifted program or acceleration up to another grade level for math/reading(that may or may not exsist next year), they would need for him to complete 9 weeks of school to allow his teacher to get a chance to see his "giftedness". She informed me that even though we have test results- the teacher needs to be able to see his level of giftedness in order to be recommended for the gifted program or any kind of accomodations for acceleration to his correct level...she said that testing is wonderful and everything but it can sometimes be incorrect when it comes to placing children for the gifted program or acceleration....WHAT??? How can you "fake" an IQ and achievement test??? What if he doesn't feel comfortable with this teacher, what if he is completely overwhelmed sensory wise due to his SPD and he sits like a bump on a log for 9 weeks or has melt downs because his sensory needs and intellectual needs aren't being met - then the teacher sees this kid who is miserable, not performing and he is not recommended for any kind of accomodations or acceleration! Despite the fact that I am a certified teacher and had taught for over 15 years in our state they are not going to take my assessments from this year of homeschooling(that happen to be the same assessments ANY other k child would have had in the county since I was a K teacher in our county all that time and have all the same materials and resources)...I was just frustrated and mad to hear that they would make him sit in a first grade classroom for 9 weeks and make him do work he has mastered a long time ago despite the fact that we have professional testing showing IQ and Achievement scores along with all the assessments I did all this year and all the work he did. Makes no sense to me at all....so I have NO clue where to proceed from here...take the change on a school that costs a fortune and doesn't even have a formal building yet because the owner is still looking for the perfect real estate site but they assured me they will be all set and ready in August for the start of school or throw my little guy to the wolves in public school and hope that the teacher he gets understands him and sees him for the amazing kid he is! Thanks for letting me just vent!

Sounds like you needed a good vent. I'd make an appointment with the principal of the public school to discuss finding a good teacher fit for him based on your concerns. This could help assuage some of your fear of "throwing him to the wolves." Of course you won't be throwing him to the wolves in any case because you'll be a proactive advocate and ready to return to homeschooling if things don't work out.

How frustrating! I think inky has great advice though. The principal is the one in a position to choose your DS's teacher and hopefully find a good fit.

Isn't it ironic that results gained in optimal conditions are rejected in favor of results in sub-optimal conditions? I find it INFURIATING that there is such unwillingness to adjust testing conditions in order to maximize a child's performance during an evaluation. The only purpose of that additional evaluation should be to confirm the information that you are providing (I won't even go into why I think seeking that confirmation is insulting--we've all been there ).

I cannot count the number of times I've been told, "oh, she didn't do as well we expected". Really? Could that be because you took my distractible child and tested her with two other students so that independent tasks were being completed while other students were being tested orally? Could it be because the symbolic language in the assessment is not the same as the symbolic language used in class? Oh, you felt it would invalidate the test to explain that 28*3 means the same thing as 28 x 3? Huh.

This whole wait-and-let's-see-how-first-quarter-goes approach shorts children of at least 1/4 of their school year. In many cases, more, because whatever is decided at the end of the quarter (unless you're lucky enough to have access to genuine G/T instruction)then takes another quarter to get "up and running". Or...to not get up and running.

I share your frustration that your teaching expertise is discounted simply because you are wearing your parent hat. It's truly insulting to assume that we would fudge results to bolster our own children. Perhaps more than anyone, a teacher would understand that inflating ability to get a child into a program they aren't actually matched to is a really BAD idea. Do they honestly think that we are eager to put our children in situations that will make them feel incompetent? Really?

It doesn't sound like this school is very open to your concerns, but if you think there's still a chance, perhaps you could go back to them and share in concrete terms why your child is unlikely to show giftedness in the regular first grade classroom. Then propose an alternative: first quarter in a "probationary" accelerated placement and/or gifted program. Then they could evaluate your DS's performance at the end of the quarter to confirm that the placement was appropriate.

If at the end of first quarter your DS isn't able to show his stuff under those conditions (you seem to have questions about the overall public program), then you may want to look at the private option anyway.

Good luck Belle...I'm rooting for you!
Taminy

Thanks guys for the input - i really did need a vent! I think the thing that is the most frustrating is that we were in this same exact spot last year going into K...DS6 has had an IEP for both speech and OT since he was 3 (he has Dyspraxia) and his speech/OT teachers also agreed that they were very unsure about the best placement for him last year since K in the county didn't offer any kind of acceleration/gifted program and they knew how advanced he really was and showed the same concern that he might become a behavior issue if not challenged appropriately...when homeschooling was decided as the best option for the time, we held his first IEP meeting in October and I asked for full testing to be done by the county so that IF we decided to do public school for this year coming up then everything would ALREADY be in place and we wouldn't have to go through the whole waiting process to get all the paperwork done and ducks in a row...they would not agree to test him saying it was a waste of their time because he was being homeschooled this year...I tried again to request it at his end of the year IEP in May - again stated, let's wait until he is enrolled in the fall to move forward...they couldn't get past that maybe, just maybe it would help things fall into place and be organized for the following year and all the leg work would be done and we could start straight out of the gate.
I will give the principal a call this week to see if I can come in and talk to him about options - I don't want to be the crazy mom but I also don't want my DS6 to lapse back into the sad, depressed little kid that he was one year ago before we pulled to do homeschooling ...he was beating himself up for always getting in trouble at his old Montessori preschool and was constantly made fun of because he was more interested in learning about things like the facts of the Titanic than playing tag in the playground. He had become withdrawn, depressed and really lost any interest in exploring things he used to love...it took most of this year of homeschooling to bring him back to his old self.

Hi, sounds like homeschooling is going well for him, what are the reasons he's interested in getting back to a regular school?
I would definitely try to draw out where the holes are for him in the current situation.

If they are social, you might be better off looking at working the social angle through clubs, if you are not already doing these things.

Very best of luck!

Thanks Chris - when he spoke with me he said he wanted to go back to school so that he could find other kids that were "like him" and so he can start learning some really hard stuff. Right now he is SUPER social...the homeschool group here is huge and there are NO issues with get togethers or outings...the hardest part, and we have searched this whole year...is finding other kids who are gifted and are on the same "page" as he is. Someone he can just hang out with and talk about the VEI index of volcanos or playing monopoly all day long. There are several other gifted kids in the homeschool group but they are in 6-10th grade and are not very interested in hanging out with a 6 year old and vice-versa. When I get together with other moms in the group and ask about trying to find mentors or methods on how to help teach him the higher math and science he wants they look at me like I am weird and I actually had one mom come out and say that she had no idea because of the kids in this group "are really not very motivated to learn". I know that I am not meeting his needs math wise - not even close....and have tried reaching out to look for mentors and tutors there just aren't a lot of choiced in our area...blah!

What about cyberschooling? That could be a good way to transition to a brick-and-mortar school. Your son would have other teachers besides you, assessments and grade levels would be documented and more likely accepted by another school if you decide to transfer later.

You could still hang out with the homeschool group. My guess is he would disappointed with school if he expects to "do really hard stuff" or meet kids like him.

CathyA - thanks - I am very interested in cyberschooling - I have only found one so far....K12 and have been trying to look at the other options out there. I also agree with you - I think he will also be disappointed with school with looking to do hard stuff. It is one of those cases where I want him to know that we are listening to him and that we want him to try new things, he just had such a rough time this past year before we homeschooled - we tried a private Montessori and then a public Charter school and both were just a mess and really affected his self-esteem.
If I could find a cyber-program that allowed him to move at his pace and start on his levels that had things like video lessons to teach him the higher math and not constant repeating of skills and boring busy work then I think that would be a perfect fit for him!

What about Calvert ? I've heard good things about it, and I think they let you do math at a different level.

He might also like EPGY math.