Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Nervous breakdown?

I've got a 13 year old daughter (yeah kind of old for this) in the other room freaking out because we don't have anything good to eat for dinner. Ok, shes had a rough couple of days, and she has a cold, but this is taking it a bit too far. We have school tomorrow (after a 3 day weekend) and a big essay due tomorrow (major grade, 3 weeks to complete, but unstarted. ) The food we have she is either scared of or does not like (scared of in the sense that its "expired", maybe by 1 day, or almost expired, like in a couple of days, she has a big phobia, thing, maybe OCD?) Any of you guys ever had one of these situations? I know kids are always hard to handle, and her especially, but this is getting out of hand.

tell her that she is staying home tommorow but in future you are going to impose mini deadlines on big projects. and do it. 13 is still young enough to be in the learning phase of organizational skills. alternative is to calmly remove self from situation and leave her to learn from experience. kinda depends if she is in high school where the grades count. grinity

Thanks for the answer. Shes almost done with the essay and a bit calmed down, but the issue remains- she seems to be having extreme frustration a lot. She is showing some OCD like symptoms, but I don't think its enough to think she needs any kind of medication. Same thing with ADHD.

it is always about context. If she acts out at home and you take it in stride then shes ok. if it wrecking you marriage well then not. if it happens at school then its a problem. what else is or isnt going on. is she learning to work at learning? does she have friends? Is she willing to try new activities which she might be awkward at first? Is she happy? love and more love grinity

fears and perfectionism?
can she do her own cognitive behavioral therapy?
is she a logical type?

can she walk herself / or you help walk her through ... the how to master your own fear?

There is a choice in the matter. The choice to overcome it, etc etc

But yeah, one thing at a time ...

(I apologize if my suggestions are complete idiocy as I'm not sure if they're appropiate or if they come across tactless. My apologies if they are.)

She seems like a normal kid at school, and I'm assuming this is just early teen stuff. She has friends, but shes more of the quiet type. She has the germ-fear thing, but that's the main thing. She's the in one ear out the other type. I'll tell her something , she'll leave, come back later, and when I mention it she either has no idea what I'm talking about or she forgot to do it. It's not messing anything up, apart from these instances. She's a perfectionist in some ways and not in other ways (like organization stuff, her room, etc), but she loves organizing stuff the same. I'm just wondering if any of you guys have had teenagers go through similar stuff.

You know, it could just be hormones. That OCD (perfectionism, germ stuff) is so related to stress and if she's feelings things in her body that she isn't used to, that could be stressful and distracting. Thirteen is a year I wouldn't care to live again, personally.

Hi,
Our son did the same thing with food and, at 27, he still has contamination phobias. Expirations are always focused on. He calls us up with questions, like whether or not his canned food should have "that color" or not. I believe it's par for the course of raising this type of high IQ child. My empathy! It gets better when they're adults. They can control themselves better and find their niche in careers and are happier.

-San

Yep, she does the exact same thing! Like "mom this food smells funny" when we just made it yesterday. And froze it. And she wont even drink milk anymore in fear. (she actually dislikes normal milk, but she says it tastes good in cereal, and loves chocolate milk) Oh yeah to add to this she practically likes less and less food everyday. She dislikes every dairy product possible, except chocolate milk and the occasional scoop of ice cream (like once a month and she does not want it again for a while) She's okay with fruits, not okay with veggies, LOVES grains (but only white grains, which I rarely serve), and only likes certain meats. But when she gets something she likes, she eats a whole bunch. So I'm not afraid about eating disorders or anything, so my rant was probably useless.

those are normal things to happen. tantrums happen with children even with adults but we express it differently. adjusting with this won't kill and im pretty sure we have more to learn in this life..