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I agree that pulling her out of school seems premature in this instance (unless this sort of thing is an ongoing problem that is escalating), but not because homeschooling is "sheltering."

Not to nitpick, but that's kind of an unfair aspersion to cast on homeschooling...

I am suffering through a 14yo girl in 8th grade right now... You're right, it's all about the drama of the day. Who did what, who said what? blah, blah, blah....

I just keep telling myself that the daughter I know is in there somewhere and she'll like me again at 20.

^^ it is not just girls. All parents of kids in that age group are plain stupid most of the time

Kriston,
Sheltering in that particular situation would be removing the girl from an anxiety producing environement. While it might be helpful to manage things in the short period of time, ultimately you need to confront your anxieties in order to conquer them.
That is what I meant. Nothing in regard to homeschooling

It depends upon the level of anxiety, I think. Simply confronting anxiety (aka "toughing it out") works in some cases. But there would be no need for therapists if it worked in all cases. I'm not sure about this case.

My son was extremely bullied throughout most of his elementary school years. He never told me how bad it was. I knew he didn't have close friends, but attributed that to the giftedness. When I realized what was going on, at the end of 5th grade we got him in counseling. We also decided for him to start middle school at a new school where he didn't know any of the kids. This was the best decision for us. His 1st year in middle school has been his best year in school. Like the Mastercard commercial states, "Having Friends in school, simply priceless". A lot of my friends tried to encourage us to continue on at the same school and have him confront his problems. I'm so glad we made the switch.

Thanks everyone for your input. She went back to school and seems to be doing better. She does have a best friend, which helps greatly. She does not want to be at home because she really does like school - or at least a lot of things about school. Her teachers are great.

You are right that she has to learn to "deal with" this stuff. Believe me, I am still dealing with it as an adult.

My son's middle school aged friends tell him he would be bullied if he went back to public school. He was bullied a little in kindergarten.

Today, after piano lessons, we went to a small town restaurant that was playing old 70's music. We listened to an old song called Bad, Bad Leroy Brown. I asked my son what he would do if he saw this guy and he said he would have to call his good friend Jeremiah the Bullfrog.

My best friend's daughter is HG+ and went to a private french immersion school in NYC. This is after moving from Chicago and changing her life since mom moved in with her boyfriend who would later become her husband. All of this happened during middle school years and by the time she was at the end of 7th grade it was clear something was going on. She had major anxiety and could not cope to the point that she faked illnesses so she didn't have to go to school. She is also a perfectionist and that put added pressures on herself. My friend took her to a therapist and many doctors and they all suggested she be put into a public school. Anyone who lives in New York knows that gifted in the public school does not amount to much. So they bought a house in a known 'good' school district and enrolled her in school. It was ten folds worse then the private school. I personally think she also milked the situation and knew she could get away with a lot since her mother was feeling guilty about all of it.

So her 8th grade, you could count on your hands how many times she went to school. They diagnosed her with ADHD and a few other items but none made sense for her DD. It was not until my friend stumbled across the idea of SI that things started to make sense. She finished 8th grade from the house and really became a hermit. So this year they put her in a tiny private school with costs equal to that of Harvard tuition. She still has some anxiety especially when it was midterm time, but the school is willing to work with her. She also has a mother that realized she wasn't helping her by giving in and started to crack the whip. Boundaries were re-established and the important thing is my friend stuck to those boundaries.

It has been a hard road and anxiety is definitely a legitimate concern and issue. She is doing better but not out of the woods yet.

And I complete agree with Ania. Think hard and long before pulling her out, b/c drastic changes can have a reverse effect and cause even more problems.

She is doing okay. We have been talking about the bullying and general dislike of "intelligent people" in this area. She said that she can go inside and work on things during lunch and does not risk getting bullied that way.

She loves her teacher (and so do I) and she is very into her band and band teacher. Plus, since her puberty onset, she does not listen to me so homeschooling is not a good option now. We still work together on some projects, but it does risk hurting our relationship where it used to enhance it. I don't want to be picking my battles constantly until her hormones settle down a bit - unless things get too bad.