Puberty is tough for girls regardless, but add that your DD is gifted, and that compounds it. Girls going through puberty are not only dealing with physical changes, but are also trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. And gifted girls, when not directed, challenged, etc, can fall into deeper issues with self-esteem, self-confidence, etc (yes, I like using etc...)
My parents moved me from NJ to GA a month after I turned 13. I had already had issues with fitting in because even though I had tons of friends, I had the situational friends, no real friends or real identitiy. Whereas everyone else had that "group" of friends only. I went from playing baseball, being a cheerleader, being in the GT program, a drama student, and a member of the band to none of them. Everything that I ever identified with (the activities, not the people) were gone. I started a new school, taking ALL of the same classes (except math) over again. I didn't make the cheerleading squad. I couldn't play baseball because only boys did, etc, etc, etc. I was basically told, without the exact words, that I just wasn't good enough. I also went from being one of the big fish in a decent sized lake to a small fish in a very large ocean. And being an extrovert, I thrive on external stimulation and got none.
I was extremely depressed, extremely bored, and the ONLY way I knew how to cope was to be way over dramatic and create situations and/or involve myself with other people who fed into that drama.
Anyway, my point... I personally would not take her from band, and I would get her more involved with taking care of herself and her mind (running, other physical activities) and really look into persuing something like cym suggested.
I also taught middle school, and I honestly believe that 6-8th grade are the most important years in a child's development. It is these years that will help set the path for success or failure as an adult.
