My best friend's daughter is HG+ and went to a private french immersion school in NYC. This is after moving from Chicago and changing her life since mom moved in with her boyfriend who would later become her husband. All of this happened during middle school years and by the time she was at the end of 7th grade it was clear something was going on. She had major anxiety and could not cope to the point that she faked illnesses so she didn't have to go to school. She is also a perfectionist and that put added pressures on herself. My friend took her to a therapist and many doctors and they all suggested she be put into a public school. Anyone who lives in New York knows that gifted in the public school does not amount to much. So they bought a house in a known 'good' school district and enrolled her in school. It was ten folds worse then the private school. I personally think she also milked the situation and knew she could get away with a lot since her mother was feeling guilty about all of it.
So her 8th grade, you could count on your hands how many times she went to school. They diagnosed her with ADHD and a few other items but none made sense for her DD. It was not until my friend stumbled across the idea of SI that things started to make sense. She finished 8th grade from the house and really became a hermit. So this year they put her in a tiny private school with costs equal to that of Harvard tuition. She still has some anxiety especially when it was midterm time, but the school is willing to work with her. She also has a mother that realized she wasn't helping her by giving in and started to crack the whip. Boundaries were re-established and the important thing is my friend stuck to those boundaries.
It has been a hard road and anxiety is definitely a legitimate concern and issue. She is doing better but not out of the woods yet.
And I complete agree with Ania. Think hard and long before pulling her out, b/c drastic changes can have a reverse effect and cause even more problems.
