Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Should we seriously consider potential ADHD?

Sent you a PM Purpleviolin!

It has been a while, i feel like I owe this group an update.

Spring and summer last year (his freshman year in high school)was worst with my son's motivation and attitude. Things have been improving steadily and magically since fall of his sophomore year and he is a different person today in terms of organization, maturity and motivation. He finished his summer debate camp online with extremely heavy work load for 7 weeks, while taking a college Spanish class and got an A+. He also found time to write a 10-page critical essay and several other writing pieces. Yesterday was first day of his Junior year, he was super organized and has a plan for everything. He get up 7am in the morning and go for a jog before starting his classes and he helps with dishes in the evening.

We tried to do everything possible, but none of these things mattered. Just before we wanted to get him tested for ADHD and try medication, he started to change. I think it definitely has to do with age and maturity. I feel grateful for this group and want to tell others with similar kids in middle school and lower high school to stay hopeful.

This is wonderful news, purpleviolin!

I do often see students with characteristics of ADHD start to pull it together organizationally later in high school, usually around the beginning of junior year, to all appearances very much as a function of maturity. FWIW, there is fMRI data on frontal lobe development in individuals with ADHD which observes that their brains look more like those of children about 2-3 years younger for much of childhood and adolescence, but on the same trajectory, just slightly delayed. So if you think about how that might play out functionally, entering middle school we expect students to take a big step forward in executive functioning (managing multiple classes, keeping their own agendabooks and calendars). If the frontal lobe is functioning more like that of an elementary school student while in middle school, then of course it's hard to stay on top of organizational and planning demands unsupported. Then we hit high school, and the frontal lobe has developed to the level of a middle schooler, but we place high school-level EF demands. Two years later, the frontal lobe has more-or-less reached high school development, and the student is still in high school, so now there is finally a match between development and expectations. And there you are!

So it could be ADHD or it could just be the wide range of normal development. Either way, I agree that time and maturity can help a great deal.

For my son, I even remember the exact day of turning point, that was Thanksgiving of last year. He went to his debate club's party and met a few of his friends, who were two year senior than him and were home from college. He talked about how his friends took double major and were doing a lot of fun things in college. That same day, he started to put together a study plan for the upcoming final, which was something that never happened before. It was as if a light bulb suddenly turned on from that point on... I might have just reminded him of a few things for that whole spring semester regarding school work. before that, there would be a lot of lies, excuses and arguments, but not any more since then. When i asked or reminded , he would just acknowledge it and sometimes even appreciate my reminders. It seemed he was no longer resisting my help/support. Fast forward, five months in quarantine was surprisingly peaceful and productive and now I no longer need to remind him of anything. He is usually thinking ahead strategically about his debate season or college applications.

On the other hand, I am seeing a similar pattern with my younger son, turning 14 next month, who is not PG, not as intense but just as disorganized and has no motivation as his older brother at same age. As you said aeh, his maturity is probably about 2/3 years younger than his peers. Fortunately he is not as explosive as his brother, so things are a bit easier with him. I am more hopeful than ever before.

Thank you so much for your help as always!

How wonderful, purpleviolin! I am so glad to hear your son found his way, and I am sure it's been a huge benefit for him that he was able to get there alone.

For those still in the struggle, I wanted to add another recommendation, for Seth Perler's website (sethperler.com). Brilliant, practical advice for 2E kids struggling with executive function, from a man who's been there and conveys that really well. DS can hear tough advice about avoidance from Seth that would never fly coming from me

I believe there was also an fMRI study on gifted children which showed that their brains developed quite differently too. I should try to find it!

Platypus, i am glad your family was able to benefit from Seth Perler's help! I read all Seth's articles and watched all his videos last summer, it was extremely helpful. Since he lived in Colorado, we weren't able to get direct help from him. I did tried a few local EF tutors for my son, but none of them got his buy-in and was a waste of energy, time and money.

Purpleviolin,
How wonderful to hear that news! I wish your DS continued success as he moves forward.

My DS is also now a junior and while he did decide to start meds right before high school, due to his maturation and organizational efforts, he's been able to stay on a very low dose. He has learned the value of hard work and it yielded an awesome ACT score and a great GPA. He is still working on the social piece though.

I've been listening to a lot of the ADDitude mag podcasts lately as he's gotten older. Great help there as well.

Best wishes to your family!