Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Pulling him from art

That is so sad and we've heard the same from DS. When school ruins a kid's interest in a topic, it really makes me wonder why we bother with it at all.

Ok. Overall, better than a couple of weeks ago, but we're sort of waiting for the other shoe to drop. PTSD you know?

We're still waiting to see what the district proposes in terms of editing his IEP. In the mean time he's doing well in his academic classes.

I think he's still in a fragile state and could easily go off the rails. One of the observations I've made (and I think I've mentioned this before) is that he gets very stressed when assignments are vague or confusing. The school knows about this and hopefully will be working to avoid those situations. But I'm not holding my breath....

It is a good strategy that I try to use with adults too. Being a parent of a 2e kid has taught me a lot.

But yeah, our school is not equipped for compassion apparently, just discipline.

What do you think set him off in the art class?

Does he actively or passively refuse to comply?

As my DS becomes a little more aware of his process--we've made some helpful discoveries:

He does not do as well in unstructured classes. This year it's more an academic issue (he needs explicit systems to hand in work), but last year it was behavioral. In a class where it is sometimes okay to mill about and socialize, and sometimes not..."time and place" did not compute. He's improving in this and it's because of explicit instruction and also his new (self-chosen) default of "when in doubt, sit down and shut up."

As an aside: I had a revealing conversation with a teenager, yesterday, who has significant anxiety--primarily the social type. She is more of the shy/retiring type but she explained to me that it is very confusing and upsetting when teachers have "pets" who can do no wrong, but there are other students in the class who are called out for behaviors everyone else is doing, also. She isn't one who is in trouble (she's quiet) but the inconsistency increases her anxiety, and she feels sorry for the kids whom the teacher appears to have targeted.

I don't know if any of that applies, and I know you want your DS to learn to manage his behavior better and not be so triggered in these situations. That's obviously an appropriate goal for him, learning to be more flexible and regulate emotions better.

It seems like it would be important to identify what the antecedent is in this situation. FWIW, I think it's fine to pull him since you have a workable solution and bigger fish to fry than an inflexible/inexperienced teacher's inability or unwillingness to consider his unique situation.

Not sure any of this makes sense--still working on the coffee.

Thought of something (IEP related). Has your DS had an FBA? If not, I'd request that. Of course, I did request that for my DS and was flatly denied. It seems to me it would be difficult for your son's school to refuse, how could they justify that?

I'm not 100% sure but I think it was a combination of boredom, and his history with this teacher. They have been at odds all year, as she is strict, swift to discipline, and he has difficulty in those situations. Both myself and my wife have spoken to her on multiple occasions, but she does not seem to view DS as having a disability or skills issues.

DS will actively refuse to comply. He has problems with anyone telling him what to do, especially if it is in the form of an order or command. He will take direction when it is gently given and he feels like he's being treated as an equal.

I may try some role-playing with him this weekend to see if we can get him to follow faux-commands in a safe setting. A poor man's CBT if you will...

He has had an FBA, and it does a reasonable job of characterizing his issues, but I'm not sure if anyone at the school has looked at it recently.

There is certainly some perfectionism at play. In the sense of judging himself lacking versus his more apt (in these projects) classmates. We talked the teacher last year, when he was actively unhappy with the class and she assured us she talks about how everyone has their own style, etc... Hmm. Something didn't compute for him.

Great examples, thank you. We have a book or two on those artists and will share them with him. I did notice some robot or alien drawings on his desk this morning, so perhaps he's just going undercover. ;-)

Since we haven't had this, I don't fully understand it--but isn't the whole point to figure out alternate ways of dealing with undesirable behaviors? Maybe school needs a refresher.

In FL the districts I have taught in or been a parent in have had two parts...the FABA...the assessment piece. And the BIP...the behavior intervention plan. And it is ongoing...you assess, you plan, you implement, you evaluate implementation and results ....if everyone is happy you keep status quo ...if new things pop up you start over again....but in addition to the intervention usually there is an additional teaching component of some sort of skill that is lacking.

But it isn't a one time event