Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion feelings for inanimate objects

This forum has been so helpful for understanding my DS8 better. I am concerned about something he has mentioned a few times to me recently. Today when I was throwing his shoes in the trash, he told me he felt really sad for it and couldn't bear seeing it in the garbage. Other few times he as mentioned he feels very sad when dropping objects because he feels he has hurt them.
He knows it's irrational but claims he can't help these thoughts. It seems so bizarre to me; should i be really worried? Thank you!

It sounds like an emotional or imaginative OE, and not an uncommon one. Objects can be an extension of the self. I remember feeling the same. As long as it's not too upsetting for him or hindering him (like turning him into a mini-hoarder) I'd say don't worry. He's just endowing the objects with his memories and is clearly empathetic.

There may be a strong positive in that he may be excellent at "perspective taking" and Theory of Mind (ToM). I'd probably compliment him on this likely extension of his skill in this area.

Anthropomorphism or personification may also help fuel creativity in artwork and writing, for example a book from the viewpoint of the shoes, highlighting favorite wonderful adventures. I'd probably suggest this as well.

I'm not in a position to render a professional opinion, but personally would not worry unless the inanimate objects began to have aggressive, intimidating, or otherwise unsettling qualities... if his thoughts seemed to linger... or if his empathy was only toward inanimate objects, not humans, pets, other creatures.

DD8 is attached to practically everything that crosses her path. If you're going to throw away anything in her room, it has to be done when she's not looking. She doesn't want to donate anything to the thrift store -- we have to take pictures and say goodbye to those things, even if they are just shirts that she never even wore.

She's been known to get emotionally attached to a piece of string or a twig or a rock that she found; she names it, and it has to go everywhere with her, until the next big thing comes along and displaces it. (She's pretty fickle, but heavily attached in a serial way.)

I don't find it particularly unusual, because I remember being the same way as a child (and, to some degree, still).

I'd say the other posters are just right. I did this as a child -- I hid my animal-shaped vitamins instead of taking them, because I didn't want to eat them. :-)

I tend to think it's empathy. My dc was at a group the other day when someone brought in a kitten. The other kids were all over it, very excited, and dc held back. The teacher commented, "NAME wasn't very interested in the kitten." I asked dc, and it turns out dc held back out of empathy -- dc felt the the poor kitten probably was overwhelmed and, as much as dc wanted to pet it, dc didn't want to add to its stress!

Our ODS has this toward his stuffed animal friends (who number around 20 at last count). They all have feelings and I have been told to watch what I say around them, so as not to make any of them feel badly, etc.

Yes. Similarly with imaginary friends. As long as they aren't controlling, don't say anything nasty or negative to the child, or suggest that they do anything dangerous or destructive, I wouldn't worry about it. Just like with real friends, actually.

I always felt guilty eating gingerbread men.

Cuddly/plush toys are definitely alive in this house.

Yes, this is definitely an empathy/creativity thing.

I should note that YDS, who also has quite an animal collection and who is also quite bright, chides me that his animals Are Not Real whenever I slip and pretend they are alive.

To each their own. ;-)

Yeah. I have a small person who does that, too...accompanied by a slightly pitying look...