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WWYD?

DD will join 4th grade this year (skipping 3rd). We were expecting her to 'discover' the Santa Myth this Christmas in 3rd grade because this seems about the age when that happens locally. DD has questioned this before but we have pulled some elaborate ruses ( including stuffing wrapped books up her bedroom chimney) to keepSanta 'breathing'. We don't want to expose her to peer mockery as she will need to establish her 'street credit' with a new peer group this Autumn.

How should we best kill Santa and all his reindeer before this happens?

My DD is going into middle school in two weeks, and as far as I know, still believes in Santa.

I have no idea why. We were clothes shopping over the weekend, and she said she hoped Santa brought her some of the nice jeans she got from him the years ago, but did not ask me to get her some, even though we were jeans shopping. So I think she really does believe. I don't make any attempt to hide incoming packages or anything. I've put the presents under her tree and turned the lights on (our tradition) in the middle of the day when everyone is home and awake, even, and she's never thought that maybe it was me. When asked, she's said it's "pretty unlikely" that we'd have given her the stuff Santa has.

FWIW, I don't think she's ever been teased for that belief.

We are in the same situation, our Davidson DS is Subject acceleration into 4th for half of his day...should be grade skipped but that requires an army here. He has asked if there is a Santa quite blatantly in the last month to which I replied, what do you think? He has had multiple queries about it and his 10yo brother only figured it out last year after Christmas. As long as he is willing to believe, I won't ruin it. I told both of them long ago that Santa only comes to kids who still think he's real, that's been enough as he still wants it to be true. If really pinned down about it, I'll tell him but right now I think he just wants to know it's ok to believe even if some of his friends do not.

Shannon L.

We have long been at the "what do YOU think" stage. We have a younger who's been a skeptic for years, and an elder true-believer now going to middle school. We let them tell us the evidence pro and con and nod sagely. We don't assert anything.

I don't think it comes up much at school, so it hasn't been an issue (yet)...

DeeDee

It's so nice to read that your kids believe in Santa. Earlier this year, a friend of DS6 told him there was no Santa. Luckily, I was able to keep his belief alive using "logic", but I worry there is still a hint of doubt. Otherwise, kids still believe around here until around grade 4 or 5.

I was a bit naughty when I was little and pretended that I believed in Santa to get extra presents...

I think our DD was 6 when she finally demanded the truth. She'd been thinking about some of the various impossibilities for some time, and as she'd explore it out loud with me, I'd be waiting for that epiphany, but just when it was about to happen, she'd drop the subject like a hot potato. As usual, the moment of truth came when she'd heard from her friends, and since she now had peers who knew otherwise, we didn't want to turn her into a social outcast for believing bizarre things (we're quite content to turn her into a social outcast for believing things that are true in our tinfoil-hatted part of the country).

When DD finally came to it, she was not to be distracted by, "What do you think?" Her response was, "NO! TELL ME!!" She was very disappointed, and we could literally see some of her innocence disappear.

A couple of months later, she decided, "I want to believe." She made out her Santa list, and she had the traditional mall photo.

Lovely!

We have also laid some groundwork for the eventual transformation toward "OK, now you know, it's your turn to be Santa's hands for others" (spirit of giving etc.) Not so much "Santa doesn't exist," but "we keep the spirit of giving alive for one another in this way."

DeeDee

I don't have an answer but we are facing the same issue with DS6 jumping into 3rd grade this year. I'm sure that we will face questions. I will wait to follow his lead. Interestingly his K teacher said some of the kids didn't believe last year but DS never questioned it, at least not to us. I hope that DS6 can get it figured out and not ruin it for his baby brother just yet. My older brother ruined it for me when I was only 5, although I choose to continue to believe like Dude described for many years.

None of my kids ever believed in Santa Claus. When my DD10 (oldest also) was 2, we spent Christmas with family away and she really didnt pay much attention as to where the presents came from, but the next year she was 3 and my relatives started really early with talking about Santa to which she replied "that doesn't make any sense" They tried to convince her so she asked me. I asked her my usual first question "What do you think?" She went into a long explanation as why it didn't make any sense and that was that. I wasn't going to lie to her when she was right. From then on, we get a tree. We buy all our kids one really big gift and fill stockings from us to which they are just as excited to wait until morning to see what's under the tree as when I was a kid (mostly because its the kind of gift they would not get any other time of year--like the swing set or ipad). My husbands tells them about why we celebrate Christmas and Santa is put in his historical context and they still love Christmas.

Oh, bummer. That's too bad. My boys, going into 6th, are still believers (I think). Are you sure the kids in her class are all non-believers? And even if they are, would they really tell her? Most of the kids in our group have younger sibs, so they all know it's not cool to reveal the Santa story.

If I were you, I wouldn't say anything until it comes up. If she asks for the truth, tell her.

As a funny aside, my DYS told me part of the evidence that Santa exists is that I would never buy him all the great things Santa gets him!