I've only had one of my kids tested due to issues that she was having at school. She has Davidson level IQ scores but not Davidson level achievement scores. She also is dyslexic/dysgraphic. This is one of the few places where there are other people who have kids with a similar profile.
This is us! We only had DD8.5 tested because we thought she had a learning disability! We knew about the ADHD, but things just didn't make sense. She was disengaged at school and writing was a huge struggle for her. We were BLOWN AWAY when we got the testing results back. It has been over a year now and I am still in gifted denial. She just does not present like a gifted child.... completely underground, as someone else said in another thread. She fits in perfectly with her class and her friends and everyone who knows her was as shocked as we were. She is happy to do minimal work. She prefers gym class and recess to all other subjects, oh, and reading! She is HG+/PG but being 2e with ADHD and crippling perfectionism, she has a really hard time at school. Her achievement tests were mostly average (except reading and math reasoning). Try to talk to her about math and she shuts down. She hates it because sometimes she makes mistakes and that is unacceptable to her, so she plays dumb and refuses to try. Her recent report card: 3 A's and the rest B's. The kid got a B in reading!! She read Anne of Green Gables this year and is now reading Little Women and The Secret Garden at home (grade three). At school, she reads the easy books because they are there. When she has to do reading comprehension exercises, she writes as little as possible. When she is asked verbally about books she has read in class, she is so bored by them that she responds with vague answers that make the teacher think she didn't understand what she read.
I have looked over the Ruf levels several times and I believe that this played into my initial gifted denial. DD does not fit into a single category. She is the most reluctant smart child you will ever come across. She knows a hell of a lot about things she is interested in (right now it is the Jewish religion and the Canadian government system), but as soon as her burning questions are answered she does not wish to talk about it again. Just stores the information. Our poor priest doesn't know what to think of her. She often corners him or emails him with the deep theological questions she stays up at night wondering about. I am slowly coming to the conclusion that school will NEVER begin to meet her needs. She just does not learn the same way as other children.
I wanted to share that today I had to drink 3 mugs of coffee to keep up with the kid. I usually drink only one and two on the days that I'm exhausted. Today in rapid fire over the course of 5 hours he came up with all sorts of projects he wants to do and puzzles he wants to solve and a presentation he wants to give. I'm brain dead with trying to keep an interested face to listen to him and give him feedback and just keep up with him. I often wonder how people handle 2 or 3 HG+ extremely verbal kids in the same family...how do you manage to survive? How do you sleep at night? I can't ignore DS, my conscience won't allow me to but at the same time, I'm really at my wit's end. I just wish his brain will slow down sometimes or he'll just keep quiet.
I moved up to three cups of coffee daily after my second began to move around. With my first, I honestly thought that there was something wrong with me as a parent. No one else had a child like mine. Whenever I bemoaned how exhausting she was I would get the 'look' from other parents or an eye roll, as if I was just exaggerating. We could not go to church with her, or a restaurant, or many public places. She was a vibrating ball of energy that could not be stilled. And SHE NEVER STOPPED TALKING (okay, that was after she finally DID start talking at 3.5... careful what you wish for). For a while, we just thought we had gotten a defective model child. There was no recognition that she was GT. We just thought she was crazy. Our little guy, 2.5, is doing things that far surpass his sister. There is no way that he has ADHD. It scares me to think about having a child with his sister's IQ and the ability to channel it. He frightens me sometimes and I find it very overwhelming to think about how to parent him. At least he stays still. I just need the extra coffee to keep up with his sister!
I really enjoyed reading the posts in this thread. I have said before that this site is my lifeline to sanity. I can talk about my kids and have people understand. I can talk about parenting concerns and not be dismissed. Here, people understand why I want to fight so hard for DD. IRL, people think we should just be happy that she is smart but seemingly okay in her class. They don't get that she is slowly being suffocated intellectually and burying herself and her abilities so that she can continue to fit in.
