I had r Has anyone else read the book and feel as indignant as I do?
Cuppy -
I did read the book and I enjoyed it very very much. One of my all time favorites. Yes, she is exaggerating, in the way only a person of Intensity could do. To my ear it is like reading an Anthropologist's report of a high achieving, perfectionistic gifted parent raising gifted children. I loved seeing my son's 'factory settings' being described in a book as she describes her Lulu. I think a lot of controversies among gifted parents revolve around 'did you get a Sophie-style kid or a Lulu-style kid?' At least in my family. Raising my Sophie-style nieces and nephews hasn't' given my siblings much insight into my life raising a Lulu-style kid.
I laughed aloud and kept ribbing my DH, about once a page. It's clear to me that Chua has a tremendous amount of insight into her own behavior, if only in retrospect, and that there is a lot of love between the family members between the cracks of the bad-mommy behavior. And to think I would never have read the book at all if my book club hadn't chosen it.
I can totally understand seeing that one has kids have high needs for challenge, and knowing that they aren't going to be challenged at school, and stepping up to the plate - with whatever resources one has, in this case, some idealized version of one's cultural heritage, and doing things that are considered crazy to all those outside.
I think if she had stumbled onto this forum, we might have helped her see that it isn't because she's a Chinese Mom, but more that she is a Gifted Mom raising Gifted Children that she is being pulled to pull out all the stops. I think if she had just a few of the ideas that we take as a baseline here, she might have been able to make the same choices with less tension and more self-support. But remember, her kids were half grown before we existed.
BTW - I read the book on Kindle, and saw that there were many underlinings in the first third of the book, and almost none towards the end (Not true anymore!) I think a lot of folks read the first third and stopped there. Think 'Confessions of Saint Augustine' - in this style of book, you have to sin a lot before you 'see the light' and start off on a new path.
Moms are human, and we bring to parenting all of our weaknesses and fears. We do the best we can, better than anyone who knew the who situation would expect and there are good moments and bad moments. What's different about Chua, is that she wrote it down for other people to read about.
I'll rename the book: Tiger Mom: Confessions of a Perfectionist caught in an unsolvable problem.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
