The point I was trying to get at Katelyn'smom made better than me in another post shortly after I made this thread. �My kid also just doesn't like to be treated like a baby, lashes out if you don't respect him enough to teach him ways to earn more responsibility. �Like he really just acts better the more stuff i teach him. �I'm trying to wrap it if this is discipline or not? �Is it discipline if instead of focusing on boundaries so much I focus on trying to teach him skills. �
I feel silly now that I've posted this. �It might turn out to be another facet of the nurture/tiger mom stream that flows here lately. �I actually intended to hear �some views on the four year debate between me and the hubby about which is better, disciplining kids by being strict and enforcing firm boundaries (which always change over time-hmphf) or by teaching skills which last and giving responsibilities and expecting that to turn into self discipline over time. �Guess it doesn't matter. �We're doing both because their both of our kids to raise together.
Interesting. When I wrote that I never considered education as in curriculum; now you have me pondering this. Interesting enough, when DD was 2 and having her issues and me realizing she was lashing out at us for treating her like a baby was around the same time that I was grasping this whole idea of gifted and really started to freak out. I became fearful of her knowing too much and what that would mean for her when she did start school. So I purposely held back. I certainly did not want to hot house nor did I before understanding LOG and how toddlers fit into it all. Yet, I feared that I could be hot housing my child IF I reached for a workbook. DD had learned a great many things by age 2, actually she could have fit comfortably into kindergarten and still be bored with the curriculum but it was from her asking about the world around her. She was/is a big book kid. We spent most of our time reading to her. Stacks and stacks of books and she couldn't get enough. From her time with books she was able to understand letters, colors, shapes, numbers, etc. Not because we sat down with her but rather in passing. But by age 2 she really was at a pivotal point. For her to really continue on at the speed she had been it would require actual lessons of some sort and I wasn't comfortable doing so. This meant that for her entire year at age 2 she was allowed to just be a child. A gifted child, no doubt and one that is over the top with her imagination and narrative ability. She also observed the world around her and drew connections that were mind boggling. Basically, I still saw her advance but in a more cognitive way, not just rote memorization. Don't get me wrong. Through regular daily activities she was able to make connections with curriculum that would otherwise be taught through workbooks. IE. math. She is an avid baker and loves to get into the kitchen with her grandmother. She helps measure everything and mix up whatever they are working on.
Now at age 4.5 after being in school for 1 1/2 and an academic school at that, I look back at my freak out and want to kick myself. I really don't see that spark that we saw before age 2. I know my DD is a major perfectionist and is also that child who is happy to remain in the pack. Going back to math; DD was able to add and subtract by age 2 but I didn't reinforce it beyond when she showed interest in it. At school, her class is doing addition and DD is capable and soars in it but certainly doesn't show interest in doing anything more than what the class is doing at the time. I'm now at a crossroad with it all. She is in a Spanish Immersion program and her buffer was the Spanish but that isn't the case anymore. How do I ensure she is challenged? How do we help this child who is content to be the wall flower in the class and not really look or ask for something more than what everyone around her is doing? Being a perfectionist means not showing her abilities until she is absolutely sure she has it right. She walked at 14 1/2 months not because she wasn't ready before age 1 but because she refused to let go of our hand until she was sure she could do it without falling. This was the same pattern with potty training and now school. If I had feed some of her desires back at age 2 maybe she would be more sure of her abilities now? Sorry for such a long winded post but I'm still analyzing all of this and trying to wrap my head around it all.
Here is where I'm at right now. I don't necessarily have a problem with her using the school to socialize BUT I do have a problem with her sitting around with no challenge. I fear it sets the stage for her to always just be content and truthfully bored but being a people pleasure she will keep quiet about it for fear of having to actually learn. And isn't the fear of parenting a gifted child that that child will never learn to learn? It is for me, anyway.
