I liked the last few posts. The word punishment is to strong a word. I consider my approach to be a combination of communication and consequence. Some young children do not respond to verbal communication, so I use physical communication. Think of the physical communication as steering the child's behavior. It does not have to be punishment.
If your struggling with verbal communication, then focus on only one word. The word I focus on is stop. This is the only word I expect my DD to respond to instantly. When she started to respond to the word stop, I then began teaching her to use it. I said I will tickle you until you say stop.
I like to think of the physical method of communication like steering a car. Steer to much and you end up in the ditch. Use increasely physical cues to deal with increasingly intense behavior. Think of this as communication.
In my case, I try as much as possible to be proactive. I practiced my reactions before the behavior even started. Once it started, I then practiced it with the child in calm times. Then I repeated the reaction during the behavior. I like to think of it like a fire drill. Learn to be calm before the real fire happens.
When a child does not listen to a request by me, then the next request the child makes of me is not responded to. Just some of what I try. Does not always work out the first time or the next hundred, but I keep trying. Just some thoughts.
