But what I hear from the OP is that the child simply 'can't' tolerate the K-2 setting. I don't claim to understand AS, but I wonder how one can make a child be in a setting that doesn't appear 'to the child' to have anything to offer.
The idea that school is intrinsically rewarding because learning is super-fun doesn't work for all kids. People with unremediated AS are less able than most to feign interest or grasp the fun in something outside their limited range of interests, so a classroom feels to them like a chore in any case.
For my DS, in the early elementary years it was blah blah blah blah MATH SCIENCE blah blah, where blah was completely intolerable. In kindergarten/first grade, where it's so much literacy, there was no joy in mudville. Yes, he was genuinely bored because of his academic gifts, but other kids who could read in kindergarten were not literally fleeing, and he was. Once he learned to be more flexible and enjoy more things, and be less anxious about the demands of school, it all made more sense to him, and he liked it better. At that point, the acceleration made more sense and had a chance to succeed.
If a child doesn't have the social skills to comply with instructions or the executive function skills to manage his own stuff, he won't likely function well in ANY school setting regardless of his academic gifts. The academic piece is important, but it's only one piece of what goes on at school.
I'm not arguing against the third grade placement in this poster's case-- I have never seen her kid in action and have no basis to argue for a particular placement. (Except the ED placement, on which I concur with eldertree.) But I would just suggest that until the social skills, anxiety, executive function, and other deficits of AS are addressed, school is likely to feel rotten to him, and he's not likely to be successful there (in the broadest sense of what is required at school).
Best,
DeeDee
