Hello,
I am conscious that words on a screen can have a harsher affect and I really don't intend this to come across as cold
To me, what you describe is almost exactly like my exceptionally gifted Aspie son, and many g-Aspie kids we know.
I would strongly suggest getting an assessment for Aspergers/ASD through word of mouth recommendations and even get a second opinion if you can.
I must admit I get really annoyed when medical professionals do the "don't get a label" thing as it is negligent IMHO. A diagnosis gives you a starting point. I firmly believe "child first, diagnosis second" and far too many professionals in ASD for instance will treat a child based on their label. This bothers me big time as my Aspie son is unlike any other Aspie child I have ever met, just as those children are individuals too.
If you are having behavioural problems with your daughter, I strongly suggest Social Thinking (
www.socialthinking.com) as this has been fantastic for our son. Check out that website and see when there are presentations in your area.
I think parents new to Aspergers/ASD often go with the first bit of advice they're given by a special ed/ASD/medical person. In our experience, nothing that was suggested to us impressed us, as we knew instinctively what would and wouldn't work for our son.
Two years later, we are taking a very outside the box approach to our Aspie kids, one which has professionals firmly entrenched inside the square shaking their heads at us, pffft... but the very, very small number of 2E people and other parents are the ones who praise what we're doing because they've walked this path too. The difference is that the people who praise us truly see each child as an individual and do not compare them to others. Far too many professionals think "oh he's an Aspie therefore he is like this, this and this".
Girls are often harder to diagnose but my daughter got her Aspergers diagnosis at age 2y10m. Because:
- family history (my husband's family are all Aspies);
- observations of her behaviour during the session with our ASD paediatrician, who is very well versed in ASD and early signs Aspergers vs HFA;
- listening to our descriptions of our daughter's behaviour in different environments and how she responds;
We were really, really lucky to find such a supportive paediatrician who happily gave us the diagnosis so we could secure early intervention funding. We knew our daughter was Aspie from a very young age, based on her brother.
If you believe there's a family link then yes, you will realise it more in your child
Also it is worth noting that there is a high incidence of depression and anxiety with Aspies. Every female Aspie I know has one or the other or both... however this doesn't really alarm me because I now know how to build defences in my children. In our case we are homeschooling which will certainly remove any school infliced damage (and my kids are the ones who stand out big time and are targets
). But love, guidance and builing positive skills now will help
About the academic side of things, my husband is also 2E and brilliant with maths, computers and science. With things like English lit or learning languages or anything arts related, he struggles and simply doesn't get it. This has not stopped him being very successful in his field and he has many friends and has done so well.
non-ASD gifted kids tend to do well across the board, but gifted-ASD/Asperger kids tend to do well in a particular area more so than others. With my son, teachers would say he is bright but they would not realise how gifted he is, due to how he would behave or be uncooperative with schoolwork. Same with my husband, he was by far the smartest kid at school but all his high school reports say how he doesn't apply himself, doesn't work hard, etc. In reality he was bored; very visual so written things were hard; etc.
