Wow, that's a lot to process. One piece of good news...Having fine motor and other skills closer to her intellectual age is a really helpful thing that a lot of PG kids don't have. It will make the next few years easier for you.
My suggestion is that you take the assessment of her development as a helpful confirmation of much of what you suspected (even if was to a greater degree).
I am far less impressed by the rest of what you were told and I would encourage you not to focus too much on these predictors.
We had a child who was similar in intellectual milestones and I think he would have been deeply depressed and his life fractured if we'd refused to let him have academic information or stimulation. It can be hard for people to understand until they have lived with it, but for some kids intellectual stimulation is as vital as air or water. Yes, every child also needs a life of balance - exercise, social life, arts, silly fun. But, I would be very wary of anyone who tells you that by not answering your daughter's questions or refusing acceleration that you will prevent future problems.
I think your DH's instincts are right on. Do what works now, worry about the rest a lot later. There is so much that is unpredictable and you will see better as time goes on what she needs. Very few decisions in this process are set in stone. I've known kids who went to early college for a few years and then went back to high school for social reasons. She might do a first bachelor's at home and a second abroad. There are many, many alternatives and based on her interests and needs you will find options that work for her.
And, I'm with Collin's mom on skepticism about the PhD at 13 story and it makes me question the rest as well.
