Wow, that is a lot to chew on! Man, I would tend to agree that not only would it be unfair to keep from answering her questions in the way she want/needs/expects, I would think it would be just about impossible!
This is just confusing,(even your dr has offered contradictory statements...phd by 13, don't skip her too fast). Hopefully there are a few folks here whose experiences are close enough that they can suggest more options. Our dd4 is currently with peers 5-6 and doing well, but I would not say she approaches your dd's ability level.

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