We're a big "talking things through" family, and I have had several conversations with DS7 explaining the power of words, and that it's important he not say bad things about himself/hit himself, because over time, his brain will begin to believe those things. I've even tried to have him say positive things about himself, in an effort to show him that if you say something over and over, it can affect your thinking. He DOES NOT like doing this.
Grinity, I have told him that hitting is not allowed in our family, and it seems to just put him more over the edge. He just screams more about how he's even a worse child. It's heartbreaking! I'll check out the workbook. Thanks!
JaneSmith, I didn't think you were saying I was speaking inappropriately to him, but thanks for making sure. :-) I laughed at your jury example -- totally seems like something I would say.
elh -- thanks for your input.
I hadn't that about the possibility that maybe DS is very literal. I do think to some extent things to him are rather black and white. It truly seems that he thinks if he's not PERFECT, then he's not good. We've talked about 1) how boring life would be if everyone were perfect, and 2) about how NOBODY is perfect, and yet people are still good. I worry about him tying his self-worth completely to his behavior. He understands that DH and I love him no matter what he does, and he can tell us that, but it doesn't seem to matter when it comes to his idea of himself.
We have tried to model good responses to our own mistakes, but maybe we need to make extra effort to do that. DH and I have our own issues with perfectionism, so it's not something that comes naturally to us.
*sigh* I thought that once we understood DS9, we'd have it in the bag for DS7. I know nobody ever said parenting was easy, but I really never thought it would be THIS hard.
