1. I am afraid that since I am having trouble getting her help at school I am going to allow her to move so far ahead that she will really have trouble fitting in and may pick up bad habits.
2. She is extremely caring and very emotional. The teacher seems to think she is immature because she cries easily. She is actually very mature and carries herself well around adults. But she will cry just hearing a baby cry. Or if someone is sick or hurt or she hears about something bad. She gets very hurt at school. She said some of her friends are older and they still don't understand her and they keep changing their minds about being her friend. She said she would never stop being someone's friend just because they didn't like what she was playing or because someone new wanted to be her friend. So her thinking is very mature but she cries easily because she doesn't quite have the coping skills to deal with the emotions of what she understands.
3. My last reason for not giving her more to learn recently is because she is picking up things so extremely fast on her own that I actually never know what direction to help lead her in or even how to help her. Like the multiplication...things just happen over night. Everyday she says a word or makes a joke or comes up with some theory that I have never heard from her. Her reading is the only thing that is "on level" everything else about her is well advanced and all on her own. No flashcards. I have given her workbooks but very rarely had to explain to her how to do them. I hardly read to her anymore because we can't make it past a page without her asking a dozen questions. Don't get me wrong...I love to teach and guide her. But I am finding that the only thing she needs me for as far as learning goes is to listen and answer adult level questions.
As for point 1 - just cut out worrying about that - she is what she is and you aren't doing anyone any favors by slowing her down. Now if you want to encourage learning things that aren't traditionally taught in school as a way to keep her learning on a 'side trip' such as chess or a 2nd or 3rd language, that is a great idea, but you have to give up thinking that you are responsible for slowing her down so she can fit in at school - it just isn't workable.
Point 2 - you are correct. Very mature GT kids can be still cry more often and easily than their agemates, because they are so sensitive. I'm starting to believe that the sensitivity can become less of a challenge by using meditation to strengthen the whole human to compensate for the extra sensitivity. Not yet proven, but this is my hunch
See
https://sites.google.com/site/giftedmeditation/Personally, I think that crying
is a coping mechanism, and a very good one, except at school where judgement comes with it.
If the school doesn't want to skip her because she cries easily, tell them you are willing to 1) sign a paper that you don't hold them responsible, 2) propose a 6 week trial of a move to 1st grade and then reevaluate, 3) Ask the GT coordinator to do a 'lunch date' with DD or with DD and a few others every 2 weeks to monitor the situation Then insist. (after the test results come back)
Point 3 -It's time to take a new view of what you role in 'keeping her challenged' is - it'll take some trial and error, but you may need to shift back and forth from 'guide on the side' to 'sage on the stage.' You'll feel more comfortable in a little time.
Questions:
How long a day is Kindy?
Is homeschooling or part time homeschooling a possibility?
More details of the gifted program - is it full time? Multi-age? Acceleration? Enrichment?
Friendship issue - is it possible to get her together with a different group of kids on the weekend? Martial Arts, Chess club, Math club, Reptile club come to mind.
Reading issue - I wouldn't stress over her reading level, but I would try to keep reading aloud to her. Perhaps make it a game to reward her for writing down her questions instead of interrupting you? Or give her two poker chips whenever you turn the page so she can practice limiting her questions to 2 per page? Have you tried reading to her 'My Father's Dragon' or 'The Phantom Tollbooth?' Does she enjoy it when you read to her?
Anxiety - Do you have a community mental health person who might be able to help? How do you feel about using that sort of resource? Dealing with figuring out death is a big deal for little ones. Can you get support for yourself so you aren't trying to help her from an empty tank?
Are you still taking classes? Have you found any favorite professorswho might be mentors for you? Are you still interested in starting a school for low and moderate income gifted kids?
Love and More Love,
Grinity
