You need to also remember that this a common behavor in kids this age. The are choosing to say something that they know will get a reaction. This is the age when boundries are tested, just how far can I go. I have friends who have cried when a child says this and then gives the child something. It can be a manipuating tactic. When my son tried this I would say "well I love you and always will" that was it, issue dropped. After a while he stopped. There was no reward to it. If he then tried to "make-up" I would say no and explain why, cause- effect.
It may be mistaken but I feel as if you feel guilty about all the changes that have happened. Don't! You and the family are doing what is necessary, including the deployment. Your son may need outside help in dealing with this.
Just remember raising children can be like AA, one day at a time or even one hour at a time.
