(I'm sorry this is long!) Deeyana, trust your instinct. Please don't let your son continue in an environment which is not working for him. Early intervention can make all the difference -- it's much better to intervene early than to have to heal from bad experiences and unlearn bad habits. I would suggest that you continue to ask the school -- politely yet persistently -- to arrange for an evaluation. Please be aware that many educators do not have accurate information about giftedness, and so, do exercise caution so that your son will not be mis-labeled with some learning disorder. There's much research that shows that parents DO know their children's abilities and weaknesses -- contrary to that old saw, "all parents think their kids are gifted." That turns out not to be true. For other resources, please see http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/; contact your local Mensa for help finding someone who can test your son. Be sure you know what you want for your son -- grade acceleration? Program enrichment? These are very different options. I have three gifted children -- and I can tell you that overcoming bad experiences has been really difficult. Educators with the very best intentions did not help me challenge my son -- and I conceded, sad to say, to the accommodations they provided, even though I knew in my heart that these were not sufficient. Too many years languishing in boring classes taught my son too many bad habits. He wants to learn, and is eager -- and is really struggling to re-learn the motivation which was "taught" out of him when he was younger. Remember that there is an important balance between teaching in patience, versus teaching out initiative. Too often, our kids have their initiative beaten out of them, for the sake of teaching them to conform to classroom norms (for the convenience of the teachers and the rest of the class, a short-sighted objective). My son has been taught so well to be patient, that he has learned helplessness. Surely this was not what was intended -- I know that, and I fully accept my culpability for not having done more for him, myself. In my defense, I tried -- kept trying -- there were other issues, and I had limited resources, and I could only push so hard. But what I am saying is that you, and only you, can and must advocate for your child. No matter how nice or kind your educators are, and no matter how high their intentions, nevertheless only you can know and advocate for your child. Don't rely on them to tell you it's working -- get in there and find out. Show faith and confidence in your son -- this will teach him to have confidence in himself. Some practical suggestions: get to know your local library very well; join your local gifted education groups; explore private schools and homeschool options. Don't think you don't have the money -- there are scholarships. You can do it. This is the advice I wish I'd had -- go for it; do it; make it happen. You can't undo this, once it's done -- and the situation is urgent, because your son is growing and needs you, and his education, right now, this year. Good luck!!
