We call that "testing" in our house
It's not easy while it's happening and is definitely time consuming! Our approach was to take the requests on face value, especially during toilet training. If they said they needed potty, we went there quickly - with only going to the toilet allowed. If nothing was produced in a minute or so, pants on, wash hands etc and out of the room again. As the kids got a little older, we started to say things like "It's a shame you're so tired (whatever behavior/request) right now, I was going to get glitter (or any other interesting thing) out. Ok I'll put you to bed." Strangely enough, not so sleepy after all!
They do get tired of it eventually, as long as you don't enable the manipulation. All the best though - it's exhausting keeping two steps in front!
I do hope it�s a phase that she goes through quickly! Witht he potty... I think we�ll probably keep taking her often since this is something we really want to encourage but maybe try and remember and keep it in the livingroom more (I have to clean in in the bathroom and many times forget it there thanks to my mom brain).
That is a tough one. I think it's important to realize that all kids lie at some point, and that creative lies and/or what may be called 'gaming the system' are signs of an intelligent kid.
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My point with this is not to write a diary entry, but really to say that I think you are in for a rich set of experiences with your little one. Even if you get over this hurdle, it may not be your last encounter with dishonesty. I do agree with you that it's good to teach moral lessons early, but there will be plenty of time, and this one doesn't seem bad-hearted. I think there are some good ideas in this thread to tackle any training consequences.
Ok, I�ll just copy a condesced version here.
I�ve tried the distraction thing and it works sometimes... but unfortunately (well, fortuantely for most other things) the girl has a good memory and is pretty stubborn!
She doesn�t let things go easily.
Thanks for sharing your other experiences, I think we will try and discuss it with her. Even if she doesn�t get it now it�ll be good practice for me in the future.
How do I explain to her that she shouldn�t tell me she wants to nurse, go potty etc. if that is really not the case??
That's not lying - it's engaging in the behavior that gets the desired result.
Stop reinforcing "If I ask for what I really want, I won't get it. But if I ask for something I don't want, I get what I do want."
The PP's suggestion (give her the undesired thing she asks for she asks for, but not what she wants) is one alternative. You might also try giving her the desired thing when she asks for it for a while (to reinforce the behavior you want), or explaining your reasoning to her (although IME this invites negotiation, which I personally don't mind, but which you might).
We had nothing to play with in the bedroom or bathroom at that age, so the most interesting place to play was the living room. And my DD was physically cautious, so could be left mostly-unsupervised without calamity while I did stuff I needed to do. She might be covered in washable marker, but wouldn't be perched on top of the refrigerator.
I get that... and I try to avoid it but potty training (for example) is pretty important for us since she�s really had a break through and is dry most of the day now. However, sometimes I�ve ignored her request after she kept asking to go for the 100th time and then we had a nasty surprise! It really reminds me of the boy who cried wolf...
Also... we have a very, very tiny apt. Just a bedroom and livingroom so the bedroom does have toys in it (esecially if DH is working in the livring room or something). We don�t really have that luxury to keep the bedroom free of toys. I don�t really mind if she wants to play in there by herself (I can see her from the livingroom so it�s not an issue) but the problem is more that she wants me there (sometimes just sitting while she reads her books, for instance) even when I�m busy doing something or trying to get her ready to go outside or like in my original example.. make breakfast.
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Anyways, thanks everyone for the answers so far. Testing might be a better word for it and I�m not too worried she�s going to grow up into a criminal or something. I�m just trying to survive to the next day as usual.
