DH and I have a weekly date. I recommend it to all who feel they aren't connecting with a spouse, especially those with young kids. It makes a huge difference in our marriage.
Consider a Saturday brunch or a Sunday afternoon coffee date, even for just an hour. It's easier to find a sitter when you're not requiring a Friday or Sat. night from a teen. It doesn't have to be expensive--how much do a couple of hours of sitter time and some coffee cost?--and I recommend against a "movie night," since the point should be to really connect. You can't do that at a movie.
But make the time.
Much of what my DH talks about is work and computer problems. But I listen and he knows he's valued. He's more willing to listen to me then.
If there's a real "soul" issue, this probably wouldn't help. But if you both want to connect and just aren't, then taking time to date one another can really help. If DH and I miss our date for some reason--usually only illness keeps us from going--then we notice a huge difference in the way we feel about the relationship. We're closer, more on the same team, when we have the date than when we don't.
