Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment "within ten points" questions

"Sorry that this is off-topic, but I have to ask TT, why did you marry a guy who's IQ is 'much lower' than yours? I'll bet he
has some awesome 'other' qualities! Details Dear"

My question in part was rhetorical, but yes, there is a gap, with my IQ being higher, and I have wondered if that is one, among many reasons, we have some serious problems relating.

He is always saying how I don't make sense. In his mind, I am too sensitive, too talkative, too curious, too interested in "obscure" things etc.

What appealed to me at first was I imagined he was somehow more
"innocent" than some of the men that I had been dating and that was refreshing to me. I married late and there were so many older guys acting like frat boys in the Boston area that when he came along, he seemed simpler. Our "courtship" was very brief and the story gets quite complicated from there.

I am more interested in talking, writing, the arts, learning, psychology, language, emotions, spirituality, etc. than he is. We both enjoy history and science, but he doesn't like to discuss them. He likes tinkering with computers and I do not share that interest at all. The marriage is in trouble actually, but I think it may be more about personality than IQ. This sounds awful and I hope he doesn't read this, but for me it is less about an intellectual gap than a soul gap. He seems to want to stay very close to the surface and to numb out with computer problems rather than engage with others in a meaningful way. I am sure he might turn that around and say I spend too much time thinking about things that are not "important" and that I'd be better off just shutting more of myself down. In general, he asks me to think less say less feel less and be less. NICE. No wonder things aren't working. YOU ASKED Grinity!

My original question came from my wondering about my DD3 since she seems more like I am and I suspect she is brighter and since my parents had NO INTEREST in education or in providing enriching experiences for me, I want to provide the best oportunities for her to thrive.

I am just trying to get a sense of what we are in for and if more testing will be needed since the IQ test she had at 3 put her score between our scores, but my gut sense is that hers is actually higher than mine and higher than what came out in the testing, but that would place her a fair distance from her dad, but of course, that does happen. I meant to say that scores are "often" or "usually" within ten points to make room for the exceptions. My husband's brother's IQ is higher than my DH and he is moderately gifted. All this talk really comes back to my trying to figure out where my DD falls and what we might need to do for her as she begins school. I made it through school with little modification, but then again, I got into trouble, dropped out of HS etc. Yet soomehow, with very little time in school I was able to jump back in and actually have top schools for undergraduate and graduate schools accept me and had a wondeful time there though still was a little "weird" even there and found it easy. I'd like her experience to be less choppy than mine was.