so that she can be aware that this happened and so that she will maybe think a bit more before she reacts to my usually quiet and obedient child like she does to some of the other more wild kids in her class.
Your DD sounds like my DD in some ways. It's hard to be the child in class who actually does believe in a need to adhere to exactly what the teacher says. Over the past few years there have been too many conversations in which, at some point, I said "Did you ask/tell your teacher..." and DD has responded with "...we're not allowed to talk to her when....". It used to frustrate me that she didn't understand that there were conditions under which it was ok. I think that the conflict comes because so many children are (developmentally) egocentric enough in their orientation that they assume themselves and their needs to be the *exception* to the rule, so when they feel they have a real need, they simply set the rule aside in order to get that need met (some more appropriately then others
).
For my DD, and it sounds like this is the case with yours as well, being the "exception" feels like misbehavior. Add in that she would rather do almost anything other than take the risk of being publicly reprimanded, and suddenly making a reasonable request becomes as unthinkable as putting a whoopee cushion on teacher's chair.
Her teacher is probably going to need to take her aside and reassure her that there are circumstances under which she IS allowed to interrupt/request/etc.
There have also been other issues with this teacher throughout the year that I didn't mention in my original post. She doesn't seem to be interested in helping DD rather just in doing things to prove that since DD isn't the teacher's preconceived notion of a gifty, that she isn't really gifted.
This sounds like the heart of the problem. It's hard to trust a teacher to be compassionate and positively proactive about the differences in our child's *emotional* makeup, when we have already been given reason to distrust them with our child's *intellectual* makeup.
I'm sorry that your DD (and you) went through this, and I hope the outcome of the conversation with her teacher is a positive one.
