Honestly I would simply tell her that it is not fair for her to be held to a different standard than the other children
I'm going to disagree here. Aren't we hoping that teachers will give our children work that is appropriate to the student (that is...harder?) Aren't we hoping that the teachers will see that our children can do more and should do more?
Ok the pee thing wasn't a good moment, and I would make an appointment and visit the teacher to 'hear her out' about it and politely make a request that she make space for your DD to ask to go to the bathroom. I wouldn't do it expecting the teacher to change, just to have a face to face moment, and to express your concern.
Your DD sounds to me like the kind of kid who could brainstorm ways to pee in advance so she doesn't get caught in the future. Why take away your daughter's chance to learn from this yuckky experience, which afterall, is now over, and probably won't effect her in anyway.
I would praise your daughter for cleaning herself up, and for having the fortitude to continue the day. Fortitude is a great quality, and the more your daughter practices it, the more of it she will grow.
It may be that this teacher is 'out to prove your daughter isn't so smart' and if that is the case, you may want to try to get her out of that classroom, though a skip, part time from a subject acceleration, or a transfer. But I really DO NOT see anything here that I would use to build a case that this teacher has it in for your dd.
In fact, you can probably shift this situation by appreciating the things that the teacher is doing well (there has to be something!) on a weekly basis. One of those: 'I just have to appreciate you for the weather project. It's great to see DD so excited to learn about clouds. 100% of teachers are human, and 100% of humans have their moments. Ourselves included, yes?
Love and More love,
Grinity
