I became a SAHM to spare my children my childhood experiences, and at this point my husband and I agree it would be better for me to work, but it wouldn't make sense financially. I love my kids to pieces, but I know I need different challenges and it's getting harder to hide my frustration.
You do what you gotta do - but I could picture your DH taking 100% care of the kids on the weekends so you could get yourself into the world doing something that was challenging and interesting and gratifying. Maybe the money you earn could pay a housekeeper?
Personally, I have found that - for me - doing the mundane household tasks + hands on childcare are something I can turn into a meditation (now that the clutter is gone) and a 'spit in your face' to the internalized sexism that says that this particular contribution to the world is less worthy/important/interesting than wage work. Of course, I'm working outside the home 35 hours a week, so that does make it feel more like 'my choice.' I am not saying that this is the right path for all women - mindfulness and spirituality just provides more kick to some folks than it does for others. Honestly, I think there are physical brain differences on this one. Lots of stuff I do at work is pretty boring too.
My mom taught me that everyone gets a different hand of cards to play in this life, and that what one can be proud of is how they 'play the hands they are dealt.' That's the long way of saying that attitude is almost everything. Then there are needs. We are real people, and we need enough sleep, enough nutritious enough food, enough intellectual stimulation, enough friendship and support.
Maybe instead of a weekend job, a 'book club' or weekly activity?
It's a big world out there, and I believe that eventually we all find our individual right answers - but it takes time and some effort to look.
For a whole year, I cooked all my family's dinner for the month on the first weekend of the month, and stored them in the freezer. It was an interesting challenge at the time. Who knows what your right answer will be?
Smiles,
Grinity
