My kid is still a baby, but I keep comming on here for unknown reasons... -Michaela
** standard disclaimer: it's waaaaay to early to know if DS is actually gifted, yadda, yadda, yadda, so this may not actually apply to anyone else here.
LOL Michaela - You are welcome to stay.
I strongly encourage you to keep encouraging that Father - child relationship. One of them will 'break' at some point if they keep hitting that wall hard enough - it is heard to watch though.
By leaving your child with their Father, even if DC expresses a lot of frustration when you return, you are sending the message that DC is strong enough to handle to frustration of being with a 'less than perfect' caregiver. I'm assuming that Dad is 'normal' but not 'pathological.'
Since this is a 'less than perfect' world, that is such a valuable lesson! Painful, yes, but So Valuable. Really, I've been down this road, and the better you do now, the less pain later.
Hints:
Spend time alone with DH.
Ask DH to tell you about himself as an gifted ex-child.
Learn to deal with your own 'perfectionism' - both 'inner directed' and 'outer directed' Join my joke about:
"Gifted Means: Never having to say 'It's good enough.'" ((Love Story Reference)
Sincere appreciation for everything DH does that is remotely right.
Take care of yourself as best you can. Do not let having a child with special needs prevent your from self nurturing as needed. In the long run, this will strengthen your child.
One of the problems with being gifted (yes,
you dear) is that we remember every wrong so intensely. Then we set out to correct all these wrongs for our child(ren) and drive everyone around us nuts.
Oh well!
love and more love,
Grinity
