Kriston- Funny... we've been having the "fair does not equal the same" conversation with DS's school. "Appropriate does not equal the same" either...
Cat-
Your comment about patience vs. compassion really jumped out at me. My DS(6 1/2) is extremely compassionate with those he believes genuinely need it. He will show my 2 year old niece the same thing 10 times without frustration. He was a play therapy buddy for a neighbor's autistic daughter for two years, not once losing his cool. He has a deep understanding of those who are younger or less capable.
However he has no patience at all! He doesn't understand why adults underestimate him- even those who have been proven wrong repeatedly. He will absolutely not repeat himself to an adult who should have been listening, gets agitated with classmates for poor behavior (not academics, just behavior), is very sensitive to classmates teasing others and will not leave it alone.
I've divided these into my head in two very different categories having see how it plays out in his head.
