Hi,

We're in a similar sounding town. Hard to know how to proceed. I know in our area our preschool director is a "I know best" type with less education than get-go and would respond negatively to IQ ratings. Can your DH ask around to see if there are any colleagues with late birthday kids currently in elementary/middle school who were not held back a year? Not a judgemental question if its, "everyone does that now? Is there anyone who didn't?" They may be a resource as to how to handle preschool.

You can also call your local elementary schools and get an idea about local age of entry, percent of entering students with preschool, etc. The principal would be a good person to ask if a year of lower level at this preschool would be helpful or would pre-K be really preferable.

In some small towns the percentage going to preschool is nowhere near what it is in urban areas, so you might have less concern that he would be starting at a disadvantage if preschool in general doesn't work out for any reason.

Have you observed at the preschool? Either with DS ("so he can see what it's like") or without. Observing is a great way to spend idle time with the teachers, questions to them might be what is the youngest age they've had, were there specific problems, do the two levels do some things together, have any past students switched levels, etc, some inside info.

If still needed then a relaxed meeting with the director last, in our little rural town the best types of things to say would be: "So I wanted to touch base with you because I called up Amanda the principal at X school to see what would happen if DS couldn't attend preschool. And actually she did say she would welcome my DS at 5 which is a big relief to me because that fits with what our family has always done, both our families believe in kids going ahead with formal schooling as soon as possible (family tradition trumps all else here) ... my fault for not talking to you about that situation ahead, I had no idea how its the norm now to not do that... hate to have DS miss pre-K.. it'll be so hard for him to go straight to K...please help... solutions... teacher Y says one time a student registered in pre-K ended up spending his days with the lower level, what about the opposite arrangement? What about... "

Always worth a try, as long as its a relaxed what-are-our-options oriented meeting it shouldn't make waves.

Polly